


Control of the Heart

by xonceinadream



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xonceinadream/pseuds/xonceinadream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian's always hated knowing who his soulmate is going to be, that he couldn't choose his life. When Sebastian meets Kurt at Dalton his life turns upside down. He's not ready for a relationship but he doesn't want to hurt Kurt. When Kurt meets Blaine and starts falling for him that changes things for Sebastian and he comes to a few realizations. <br/>Prompt: Sebastian knew from the time he was 13 who he'd eventually end up settling down with. He hated knowing. The only comfort he was able to take was that it was extremely rare for anyone to find their soulmate before they were 20. When Kurt transfers to Dalton in S2, their teacher announces Kurt's name in front of the class, and Sebastian instantly knows that it's his soulmate. Kurt's the type of person who has loved their soulmate without ever knowing them since the moment his mark first scrawled across his arm...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a [prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/36785.html?thread=48778929#t48778929) on glee-kink-meme on livejournal.  
> This was also originally written for [Kurtbastian Bang](http://kurtbastianbang.livejournal.com) on livejournal but I dropped the ball on that so it's being posted separate.

The words start forming on the hollow of Sebastian Smythe's throat when he's three years old. The first letter that forms is a tiny lower case 'u' and his mother takes a picture for a scrapbook that's put into storage when he's six and never seen again. Sebastian, at three years old, still dreams of a fantastic life. His parents are still happily together and he doesn't realize that 'No, honey, don't touch Mommy's drink' will change things so much later in his life. There's nothing bad in his life that day except the stinging pain as he starts getting the name of his soulmate.

When Sebastian is ten years old, his parents finally get a divorce. In some ways, it's a relief because no longer does he have to listen to their fighting. He can hear the bumps and the yells from his bedroom and he always rolls over, pushing the pillow over his head but he can still hear. When they divorce, his mother moves to France without an offer to come live with her. He has no choice. 

There's no choice when he's twelve years old and his father remarries a woman who he swears is only a decade older than he is. Her name is Maria and she tries her hardest but he hates her. Sebastian often calls his mother in tears because he misses her but most of the time he can only hear ice clinking in a glass before she makes an excuse to hang up. His father sends him to a fancy and expensive school and tells him that he'll be boarding there during the school year. Maria has a look of relief in her eyes even as she lies, saying she'll miss him.

The words are finished forming on the hollow of Sebastian Smythe's throat when he's thirteen years old. The upper case 'K' is the last letter of the word but he's had more than a vague idea of what the name is for a while now. The second that the last dot of the 'K' is filled in the pain that he's felt for the last decade on his neck ceases. 

Sebastian rushes to the mirror, tilting up his chin so that he can see. 'Kurt Hummel.' It's official. It's who Sebastian is going to end up with. He's going to marry Kurt, or at least, if the universe has its way he will. He will be tied down to him and he has no choice in the matter. His friends are thrilled for him because they don't understand. The words are a life sentence, the kind that he doesn't want. There's no illusions of love within him, no, he doesn't care that he supposedly has a perfect match picked out. He cares about the fact that he's going to have to be with this Kurt Hummel. His parent's marriage was evidence that sometimes soulmates aren't the person you want to spend your life with. 

The only comfort that Sebastian has is the fact that most people meet their soulmates in their late 20s or even later. When he's fourteen, he goes to live with his mother in Paris for a year. While there, he watches the way that she has man after man after man. She is happy, or so it seems to him and he asks her if it matters that they're not her soulmate. Her words are slurred. "Sex is sex," she tells him and that's the end of the discussion.

Entering high school, he goes to Dalton Academy (boarding still even though Maria is long gone and his father is onto his fourth wife named Penelope). As a freshman, he flirts his way through most of the school. Even the straight guys are willing to play his game and Sebastian has fun. When he's a sophomore he gets taken to Scandals by one of the older boys on the Lacrosse team and he loses his virginity to him in the bathroom there.

From that point on, Sebastian doesn't care about Kurt or anybody else. It's common to be with and even sleep with others considering most don't meet their soulmate until they're older. Sebastian is, for the most part, accepted even though he sleeps around. There's some light-hearted teasing but the other boys experiment as well and it's okay. Sebastian sometimes forgets about the words on his neck and the necks of the people around them. The names are light, almost invisible against skin, mostly covered by the Dalton uniform and it's easy to forget.

That is, until the day that Kurt Hummel transfers to Dalton Academy.

*

Kurt Hummel is what is commonly referred to as a late bloomer. The first letter of his soulmate's name, 'm', doesn't start on his neck until he's six years old and already in kindergarten. Students are fascinated by each other's words and at recess they often sit in tight groups, scooting in close to be able to see the letters on each other's necks. Kurt sits alone, rubbing at his throat and wondering if this means that he'll never have anybody who will ever love him.

It's the end of kindergarten when the name starts and he wakes up screaming from the pain. His mother comes in, soothes him and she knows just what to say, telling him that her and his father were right. He gets a soulmate after all. Kurt cries, from the pain and from relief. He's normal, at least a little bit. At least he has a soulmate.

First grade is easier now that he has a soulmate name forming. They all make guesses about what names they might have but even the people with the most advanced names only have a letter or two so far. Kurt pretends to be above all the games but he climbs up onto the bathroom counter every day after school to see whether he has a new letter of his name yet.

Kurt's mother dies before she gets to see the finished name and his father goes into a depression, only snapping out when the school counselor calls him in and tells him that Kurt had started screaming in his third grade class that he wanted to die. That is how Kurt knows how important soulmates are. Burt and Elizabeth Hummel were soulmates and it's hard for Burt to live without her. Even at the age of eight, Kurt understands that if not for him, Burt would give up on living.

The name finishes forming on his last day of freshman year when he's fifteen years old. 'Sebastian Smythe.' It's an interesting name and Kurt repeats it a few times in front of the mirror after school, emphasizing different syllables to see how it sounds in his mouth. Then, although he makes sure that he is alone in the house and will never ever admit it to anybody _ever_ (he doesn't know that when he is twenty-three he will admit it to Sebastian and Sebastian will pounce on him and they'll make love right there on the couch), he practices different names. 'Kurt Smythe.' 'Sebastian Hummel.' 'Kurt Smythe-Hummel.' 'Kurt Hummel-Smythe.' The last one is his favorite and he writes that one down in his not a diary that his counselor had told him to start keeping when he was nine.

Kurt still wants to die sometimes, just sometimes. Most of the times he's okay. During his sophomore year, he joins the glee club and makes some friends. They all have their own problems and he feels left out of them because he's the only openly gay kid at school. During his junior year, he's assaulted in the locker rooms and he begs his father to be home-schooled. His father and stepmother consider it long and hard before Carole brings up a private school two hours away that she had considered sending Finn to when he had been about failing.

It's Kurt's turn to think and he does. There's a glee club, which he appreciates, although he'll have to compete against the New Directions. They talk to the school and he sits down with some of the boys who tell him that there's no bullying at all. There's no tolerance towards it and anybody who does gets only one warning before expulsion. Kurt isn't positive that he believes them but it's the best that he can do. He accepts and he transfers to Dalton Academy.

*

Sebastian is sitting in his science class, bored out of his mind when he hears Kurt's name spoken out loud by somebody he doesn't know for the first time. It's in his first period class, during the announcements that he's only listening to with half an ear. "And everybody welcome our newest student to Dalton, Kurt Hummel. If you see him in the hallways be sure to give him a friendly hello." (Sebastian isn't aware of Kurt's flushed face as he looks at the principal, mortified at the very thought that people would come up just to say hello to him).

That makes Sebastian sit up straight and his hand flies to his throat. It could be a coincidence, of course. He's sure that there is more than one Kurt Hummel in the world. It has to be Kurt, though, doesn't it? Transferring? It's too big to be a coincidence. Sebastian feels dread fill his stomach. He's not ready. He's not ready to meet his soulmate. That's not fair! He has a "date" on Friday to go out to Scandals with the guys. He's still only a teenager.

One of his friends must notice the sick look on his face and he turns to him, nudging Sebastian on the arm. "You okay?"

They don't know about the name on his neck. Some people tell everybody who their soulmate is but Sebastian doesn't. He doesn't think that it should matter until he's older. It shouldn't matter and he's determined not to let it matter. Just because Kurt is at his school doesn't mean that he has to communicate with him. He doesn't want to get tied down right now.

Across the school, Kurt takes his schedule, turning to David Thompson, one of the lead Warblers who offered to help him around school. "You, uh, don't need to show me to my classes if you don't want to."

"Ah, I do actually. You see, Wes, he's another of the lead Warblers, looked you up on youtube. He loves your voice and so I'm to make sure that you find your way around school properly and that you really do come in to audition at lunch. If you're okay with that," David responds, beckoning for Kurt to follow him towards Kurt's English class. 

Kurt is surprised that they had bothered to look him up and he feels his face flush at the compliment. He just hopes that David isn't making fun of him or something. Thinking of that, he turns to David but there's nothing but kindness on David's face. "I'm not sure if I'm really ready right this second to join the Warblers. I promise that I would like to but I'd like to get adjusted to the school first. Is that alright?"

"Of course. Wes is going to corner you, I'm sure but don't let him intimidate you. He just takes his role as captain very seriously and he saw just how amazing you are." Seeing that he's laying it on a little too thick, David withdraws a bit. David gestures for Kurt to follow him and they start walking through the halls. "I tried to tell Wes that you might not want to, there's the library by the way, join right away but he was insistent. Tell him to back off and he will."

Looking over at David, Kurt weighs his options. The other boy seems to be genuine and Kurt wants to believe it but it's hard to believe that there are people who are okay with him just two hours away from McKinley High School. "I just need a few weeks to get adjusted. I'll join eventually."

David smiles as he waves his hand with a flourish towards an open door to their right. "Well, take your time. You're welcome to sit in on practice whenever you're ready. This is your English class. I'll be by after class to show you to your next one."

"Oh, you don't have to," Kurt says immediately, eyes wide at the very thought of David coming back.

David shrugs. "Don't worry about it. Really. It's my pleasure. Have fun in class, Kurt." David waves as he walks away backwards and Kurt can't help but grin as he waves back. Dalton is already exceeding his expectations. He just hopes that it lasts.

*

It's not that Sebastian goes out of his way to avoid Kurt, he just makes sure that there's no way that Kurt can possibly hear his name. When he hears that Kurt is going to sit in on a Warbler's practice to see how it works he fakes sick so that he doesn't have to go. Kurt slowly starts to hang out with a select group of Warblers even though he isn't an official member and Sebastian makes sure that he's never around at the same time. Sebastian knows that he can't keep Kurt from knowing forever but he wants to wait as long as he can.

Sebastian is surprised by just how long he manages it. It's an entire quarter and the only reason that Sebastian can't avoid him any longer is because they're put in the same class. Sebastian was originally put into beginner's French and really, he should've just stuck with that. It would've been easy. Instead, he kicks up a fuss about how he can already speak French fluently and is put into Home Economics which, really, is the lamest class ever.

Kurt is already there, sitting alone and glancing through a notebook. Since Sebastian had transferred classes he's there only a moment before the bell rings and the seat next to Kurt's is the only one empty. For a second, Sebastian thinks about running away, to really start avoiding Kurt but he knows that he has no choice anymore. He heads into the room and sits down next to the other boy, trying to subtly move the papers that have made their way onto his side of the desk.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't expect anybody else in the class," Kurt says with a quiet laugh as he starts helping Sebastian move the papers. When the papers are all back on Kurt's side of the table, he turns to Sebastian with a smile. Sebastian has seen him around, knows him because of his association with the Warblers but something about his smile makes Sebastian's breath catch. If Kurt weren't his soulmate, Sebastian would be trying desperately to seduce him right about then. "I'm Kurt Hummel."

The teacher comes in then, holding a pile of papers and Sebastian debates for a moment. "I'm Sebastian Smythe," he mutters out of the corner of his mouth.

Kurt lets out a surprised sound but thankfully the teacher talks then and Sebastian pretends that he doesn't hear it, fiddling with his books and papers. The first day of class is like so many others, going over the expectations and the teacher doesn't stop talking for the hour. At the end of class, Sebastian is out the door before the bell is even done ringing.

Obviously, though, he underestimated Kurt and he's surprised when the other boy catches up to him. "Sebastian! Sebastian, wait!" There's really no way that he can ignore that without looking like a total asshole in front of everybody so he sighs, turning so fast that Kurt nearly runs into him. 

Sebastian grabs Kurt's arm, gentle enough to not hurt him but firm enough that there's no way that Kurt can get away and drags him into the nearest classroom. Kurt is pliant in his hold, trusting and god, it makes Sebastian almost sick, the way that some people idolize their soulmates. Sebastian has seen the worst of soulmates and he knows that just because somebody is destined doesn't mean they won't hurt them. "So my name's on your neck?"

Kurt seems surprised by his harsh tone and Sebastian has to remind himself that this isn't Kurt's fault. He can't hate Kurt just because of the universe. Kurt doesn't have a choice either. The problem is that Kurt looks so damn happy when he tilts his chin to show Sebastian the name written on his skin. "Yes. Does that mean mine's on yours?"

For the first time since he was young, Sebastian lifts up his chin for a stranger, taking a step closer so that Kurt can see the marking on his neck. He isn't expecting it when Kurt lifts his hand, a finger tracing along the name and he jerks back. "Look, Kurt…" Sebastian doesn't know what to say, how to explain things. It seems almost presumptuous to say that he doesn't want Kurt right now, before anything's really happened. "I get that you're my soulmate and all but I'm not ready for this. I mean, we're young and I want to mess around. I don't want to be tied down to somebody right now. Maybe in a few years but I'm just not ready. I just want you to know that before you say anything else."

There's silence in response to Sebastian's statement and Sebastian chances a look at Kurt's face. It seems as if the other boy is trying to figure out what he means. "You're not… ready to have a soulmate?"

"Exactly." 

"But… you have one. The name's on your neck. You can't just say that you're not ready to have a soulmate because you already do," Kurt says slowly, his voice shaking already, reaching a hand up to slide across the words on his own neck.

Forcing himself not to watch the motion, Sebastian keeps his eyes locked on Kurt's. "Let me rephrase then. I'm not ready to be with my soulmate. I'm not supposed to meet you for years. I'm not ready to be with you. I don't want to be with you yet."

Sebastian can see when Kurt finally gets it because his entire face falls and Sebastian gets this overwhelming urge to take it back, to apologize. No, this is exactly what he doesn't want! He doesn't want this soulmate bullshit to make him feel things like this for a boy that he doesn't even know.

Sebastian expects Kurt to perhaps cry but instead Kurt just slumps down onto his knees on the floor as if he physically can't hold himself up any longer, shaking his head. There's something even more heart wrenching about the movement than tears would've been. "Of course. Of _course_. God, I should've expected it. Nothing can just be easy for me, can it? No, I get tormented at school and bullied and- and- and now my soulmate doesn't even want me."

That's when the tears start but they're not sobs like Sebastian's used to. There's nothing manipulative about them. Kurt wraps an arm around himself and Sebastian knows that these tears are simply because Kurt can't keep in the sadness anymore. He's not doing it so that Sebastian will change his mind or so that he can have comfort. He's _heartbroken_ and that kills Sebastian. Anybody with a heart would be falling over themselves to comfort Kurt and so Sebastian does.

Kurt doesn't lean into his touch but he doesn't pull away as Sebastian gets on his knees next to Kurt, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close. "Hey, come on now. Kurt, it's not about not wanting you. I just… Don't you want to see what's out there first? Before we vow our lives to one person don't you want to see what's out there?"

Sebastian can see the word 'no' that's hovering on Kurt's lips but Kurt obviously decides against it. Perhaps he can see that arguing is pointless. Sebastian is surprised when, instead, Kurt just turns his body, wrapping his arms around Sebastian and pressing his face into his neck. He can feel his tears sliding down his skin and it's intimate and slightly disgusting but he doesn't pull away. He can't hurt Kurt like that. "I want to be wanted."

It's so honest, the kind of honesty that Sebastian has never managed and the few simple words just so completely confirm everything that Sebastian had always feared. Kurt loves him already. Kurt thinks that he's head over heels in love with Sebastian just because his name is written on his skin. Part of Sebastian wants to say something malicious, let Kurt know that soulmates aren't all they're cracked up to be. He can't, though. He just can't because he's a better person than that even if he doesn't want to be. "So go out there and find somebody. There are plenty of gay students at Dalton. Hell, I'll introduce you to them. It's not about not wanting you, Kurt, I _promise_. I mean, you're plenty attractive. I'm just not ready yet."

"I understand," Kurt whispers against Sebastian's neck but Sebastian knows that he doesn't. He holds onto Kurt, rubbing the other boy's back and trying to think of any way to comfort him. Kurt's crying lessens until they're just sitting together and then Kurt pulls away. "So, you don't have to avoid me anymore. I have to get to class."

Sebastian doesn't say anything, not knowing how Kurt realized that he was avoiding him. Kurt gives him a small smile and a wave before heading out of the classroom.

*

Kurt makes it to his dorm before he breaks down again, curling up in the bed and pulling his pillow close to his chest. It's not fair. The worst part is that Kurt can't even be mad at Sebastian because in some deep, dark part of Kurt's mind he _understands_ why Sebastian wouldn't want to be tied down so early. It doesn't make it better, though, because Kurt does want to be tied down.

In the few months he's been at Dalton, he's heard Sebastian's name many times. The Warblers talk about him constantly, one of their lead vocalists. They never mention a last name and Kurt had never shared his soulmate's name, simply because he'd shared at McKinley and they had enjoyed teasing him about the name. There was a spark in the back of his mind, a hope or a wish that maybe this Sebastian was his. Of course, it's his luck that it is his Sebastian but that Sebastian doesn't want him.

Kurt tries to remember what Sebastian had said. It's not about not wanting him but that almost makes it worse. Oh, Kurt, you're just fine but not enough for me. Maybe in a few years you'll be enough but not right now. Kurt presses his face into the pillow, too upset to even cry anymore. He skips the rest of his classes, not caring about getting into trouble and he stares at the wall. What's the point? He's never going to be good enough.

The jocks at school were right it seems. Even his soulmate doesn't want him. And that makes it worse. He'd been so excited when the name on his neck started forming, when he'd known that he'd get a soulmate too. But he doesn't. Not the type that he'd always wanted. He'd imagined how his first meeting with his soulmate would go a million times. It was never his soulmate talking about how he wants to be with other people first. 

Kurt can only lay there, thinking about everything. And he was thinking that Dalton was so much better and going so well.

*

Things get better slowly. Now that they've been introduced Sebastian doesn't actively try to avoid Kurt and they find out that they actually enjoy each other's company. They snark at each other, exchanging quips that make them laugh but have their friends doing a double-take, unsure if they're really being serious with each other. Kurt has fun insulting Sebastian's hair, watching as Sebastian's eyes darken with a certain fondness before he makes a quick remark about Kurt's clothes. Sebastian watches him, always careful, learning just how far he can push Kurt before Kurt starts to take it personally. Implying that Kurt is feminine is fine but implying that he's a girl is going too far and the apology is out of Sebastian's mouth before he even realizes it when he sees the hurt look in Kurt's eyes.

It's intriguing to Sebastian, how much he truly enjoys Kurt's company. He likes being around Kurt, likes the way that Kurt can match him wit for wit. They're paired up in their Home Economics class and they enjoy cooking together because of how well they work together. They seem to know what the other is going to do before the other even make a movement. It's domestic and Sebastian knows that he shouldn't enjoy it as much as he does. He shouldn't like the way that Kurt's eyes sparkle or want so badly to lick a bit of chocolate that's on the corner of Kurt's lips from a batch of chocolate chip cookies that they made together.

The only downside to them spending time together now is that rumors start to spread. Somebody starts a rumor that they're soulmates and neither of them know what to say. Sebastian knows how he's going to sound if he says that they are and Kurt doesn't want Sebastian to be upset if the truth does get out. 

It doesn't take long, two weeks, before Sebastian kisses Kurt for the first time. Kurt auditions for the Warblers, singing a song from a musical that Sebastian doesn't recognize but he's brilliant. As one of the lead vocalists, Sebastian gets to sit in to the audition and it's a resounding yes. Kurt comes back in to receive the news and he turns immediately to hug Sebastian tightly.

Sebastian hangs onto him longer than he means to and they stay together long enough that the room has cleared by the time that he lets go, clearing his throat. Kurt's smile is so bright, so open and honest that it takes his breath away. He'd been expecting sadness, resentfulness but Kurt hadn't done any of that. They've enjoyed themselves. Maybe it's the soulmate bond but Sebastian physically can't hold himself back as he leans in to kiss Kurt.

Kurt's lips part in surprise but Sebastian doesn't take the opening, surprising even himself. He keeps the kiss soft, light and after a moment, Kurt closes his lips, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck and sliding his lips across Sebastian's slowly. "You changed your mind?" Kurt whispers, warm breath tickling Sebastian's lips.

It feels like a bucket of ice water has dumped over Sebastian's head and he pulls away, inwardly cursing himself. He'd rejected Kurt. He didn't want Kurt, didn't want to be tied down so young, didn't want to be with somebody because he _had to_. But he does want Kurt. That's the problem. He wants Kurt without the commitment. So why can't he have that? "You didn't," Kurt murmurs and he looks so upset that Sebastian has to lean in, kissing him again. Kurt doesn't lean or push away but he doesn't kiss back and Sebastian pulls back to look at him.

"Kurt, I want you." Before Kurt's eyes have a chance to light up, Sebastian quickly goes on. He doesn't want to get Kurt's hopes up only to disappoint him and so he speaks quickly. He hasn't really had a chance to think about it either, words spilling out without real thought. "I haven't changed my mind. But it's not you that I don't want. It's commitment. So, if I can have you but not really commit to you then I think I'd really be ready to commit to you later."

Kurt stares at him as Sebastian cuts off, unsure of what else he has to say. After a moment when he realizes that Sebastian isn't going to talk again, he frowns. "So… you want like, an open relationship?"

Sebastian snaps his fingers, nodding. "Yeah, exactly. An open relationship. I mean, you like me and I like you. I really do, Kurt, more than I thought I would. You're funny and you're good company and you're witty in a way that's really hot. I see no reason why we shouldn't be together."

Kurt looks at him carefully, something that Sebastian doesn't recognize swirling in his eyes before Kurt smiles and nods. Sebastian feels something in the pit of his stomach, something telling him that this is wrong. It's wrong because Kurt doesn't want it. He's _hurting_ Kurt but he can't think about that. No, Kurt would tell him if he didn't want it and what's so wrong with this anyway? They're going to be together. "Do I get to kiss you whenever I want?"

"Whenever you want," Sebastian confirms. Kurt nods again, the smile less bright on his lips as he tilts his head up to kiss him again. Sebastian cups the back of Kurt's neck, his other arm looping around Kurt's waist as he pulls Kurt even closer. It feels so wonderful and Sebastian knows that he's made the right choice being with Kurt. In an open relationship, he reminds himself. Because he doesn't want commitment. That's it.

*

Sebastian knocks again on Kurt's door, sighing and just pounding harder when there's still no answer. "It was an accident, Kurt!"

There's a moment when Sebastian thinks that Kurt is going to continue to ignore him but then the door slams open and Sebastian winces. Kurt is obviously more pissed than he had expected. "You are an asshole!" Kurt makes to close the door again but Sebastian shoves his foot inside, wincing again when Kurt continues trying to slam the door.

"Shit, Kurt, could you not break my foot?" Sebastian asks, gripping the door and biting his lip as he takes a slow step inside. He's pretty sure that it's going to bruise or at least be sore for the next few days. 

"No, breaking your foot was my intention," Kurt snaps. When he can see that Sebastian has enough leverage to keep Kurt from closing the door, Kurt goes to throw himself onto the bed, burying his face into the pillow. Okay, Kurt is equally upset as he is pissed.

Sighing, Sebastian closes the door, moving over to the bed and rubbing Kurt's back. "I didn't mean to tell them. It just came out, Kurt." Kurt is tense underneath Sebastian but Sebastian doesn't move his hand from his back, keeping up the soothing motions. He knows just where to touch Kurt to make him relax even if it doesn't seem to be working right now. "I guess I temporarily forgot that we were keeping it a secret, you know? We were just talking about soulmates and I couldn't stop myself from saying your name."

Kurt closes his eyes, feeling the tears on the pillow that he's already cried and he doesn't want to cry any more. Taking a shaky breath, Kurt rolls over so that he can look at Sebastian. "I look like an idiot. Agreeing to an open relationship with my _soulmate_. They're going to judge me. I just made friends, Sebastian! I finally feel like I _belong_ and you-"

Shaking his head harshly, Sebastian leans in to interrupt Kurt with a kiss but Kurt pushes at his shoulders and Sebastian quickly sits up again. "No. If anybody even says one word to me, you tell me. Or any of the Warblers, really. We'll all kick ass for you."

"I don't care if anybody says anything open to my face. It's about them all judging and-"

Sebastian cups Kurt's cheek, forcing Kurt to look at him even as Kurt tries to turn his head away. "Why would they judge? I'm not going to say that I'm the one who wants the open relationship. We're taking control of ourselves. Is that something that you're ashamed of?"

Scoffing, Kurt pulls himself out of Sebastian's hold. No, he has plenty of things that he is ashamed of but not that he is 'taking control of himself.' He is ashamed that he doesn't have more self-respect for himself than to demand something different than an open relationship. 

"If you lose any friends then they're idiots, okay? I won't let anybody talk about you. I won't. You're my boyfriend…"

Kurt looks up as Sebastian trails off, surprised. It's the first time that Sebastian has ever said those words and Kurt reaches up to brush away a few stray tears. "I'm embarrassed."

"Hold your head high. Look, I know you're… you've been so understanding about all this. Don't think that I don't know how hard this is for you," Sebastian said, speaking quickly so that he can say it before he loses his nerve. It's hard for him to really open up and show his feelings. He's not like Kurt who admits everything to him. He cares enough about Kurt that he can't hold it in. He can't stand to see Kurt so upset. "I just _can't_. I can't commit right now. I can't-"

Rolling his eyes, Kurt leans up and presses his lips to Sebastian's, letting Sebastian take control of the kiss as soon as he starts kissing back. "Hush. I understand. Just stop, okay? I'm going to make sure that you pay for it if anybody says anything to me."

Sebastian nods, kissing Kurt again. "Deal."

*

"It's a Warblers party, Kurt. You have to come. My house will be empty so we're all going for the weekend. We're all excused. Don't you want to see where I live?"

It's not fair, the way that Sebastian talks to Kurt sometimes. Kurt knows that Sebastian doesn't mean to sound condescending but he does. Stupid Kurt who loves Sebastian because he's his soulmate and maybe, now that he's met him, for a million more reasons. Sebastian knows that he can get Kurt to do almost anything. It's not fair, especially since Kurt can't get Sebastian to do much.

In the month and a half since they've started their relationship, Kurt's just fallen harder. More and more, he knows that they really are meant to be. Sebastian is his perfect match, his other half. They laugh together and they sing together and dance together alone in Sebastian's room to cheesy songs that come on the radio. Sebastian kisses him in a way that leaves him breathless, pulling him closer and making Kurt want more for the first time in his life. And though Sebastian is near to the point of begging for more, begging for even a glimpse of skin, Sebastian never lets his hands wander below Kurt's waist, just like Kurt had asked.

It's not fair that Sebastian took Kurt's first kiss, is going to take Kurt's first everything, but it's not important to Sebastian like it's important to Kurt. Kurt waits for Sebastian every day at lunch and dinner, watches for him and saves him a seat. Sometimes Sebastian sits with him and sometimes he doesn't bother to show up, caught up in something else. Kurt doesn't know what else to do, though. If he lets Sebastian go then he gets to watch Sebastian do all the same things, just without Sebastian's kisses and cuddles and the way that Sebastian has quickly become his best friend.

"Fine. But… I want to sleep in your room. I don't want to sleep in some random guest room with a bunch of drunk people milling around. And don't tell me there won't be because it won't just be the Warblers that attend," Kurt finally says because he really can't say no and maybe he does really want to see where Sebastian lives. It still feels like a bad idea.

Sebastian grins because he's won and he joins Kurt on his bed, leaning in to kiss him and pressing against Kurt's shoulders until Kurt lays back, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck. Sebastian uses his knees to nudge Kurt's thighs apart, sitting on top of him but their hips don't touch. The perfect gentleman, Kurt thinks and he wonders if he's like this with those other boys. _Don't_ , he tells himself immediately. This only works when he doesn't think about it, about the fact that he's not the only one that Sebastian kisses like this.

It's a recipe for disaster, thinking about all the other people that Sebastian has been with and most of the time he's okay. It's his name on Sebastian's neck and that has to mean something even if Sebastian isn't ready to acknowledge it. "I have homework to do," Kurt says softly, gasping as Sebastian opens his mouth against Kurt's neck, starting to suck gently.

"So do I," Sebastian responds, sliding his teeth along Kurt's skin and Kurt closed his eyes, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Sebastian's hair. "Not important."

Kurt would like nothing more than to just let Sebastian kiss him for days and never stop. His mouth and his teeth and his tongue and the way that he can suck on Kurt's skin without leaving hickeys are just so tempting. "I can't. Seb, please, I gotta- please."

Sighing rather dramatically, Sebastian drops another light kiss to Kurt's neck before getting up, continuing to rub his sides. "Alright, fine. We're working out car arrangements but I'll make sure that you're riding with me on Friday. And it's going to be fun."

"You promise?" Kurt asks, relaxing as Sebastian pushes his shirt up to slide his fingers along Kurt's skin.

Sebastian nods, kissing Kurt's lips a few times. "I promise." Kurt still has a bad feeling about it but he lets Sebastian kiss him again before finally pushing him out of the room. He wants so badly to believe him.

*

"Just have fun, okay?"

Kurt rolls his eyes, Sebastian's words echoing in his mind and he's so incredibly pissed at him that he could probably hit him if he was standing in front of him right then. But Sebastian's not right in front of him. Sebastian is across the room from him, flirting with a boy who keeps leaning forward, smiling too widely. It hurts. Especially after Sebastian had promised that things would go well.

Things had gone okay for the first hour. Sebastian had stayed by his side, greeting people as they came in and making sure that there was enough alcohol to go around. Then, of course, Sebastian had kissed his cheek, telling him that he had to socialize. That was the beginning of the end, really.

Not even able to watch them anymore, Kurt turns, gasping when he connects with another body, his soda spilling all over the both of them. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize somebody was behind me," Kurt says, looking up and the boy that he sees takes his breath away.

"Hey, it's okay. I shouldn't have been walking so close to you. It's just crowded in here. Sebastian sure can throw a party. You're Kurt right? I'm Blaine, Blaine Anderson." The boy holds out a hand for him to shake and Kurt feels the stickiness of his soda on his hand when he takes it. Blaine looks down, obviously just noticing the soda for the first time and he laughs. Kurt's fairly certain he's never heard any sound as lovely.

Kurt nods somewhat belatedly, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm Kurt Hummel. How did you- Oh, Blaine Anderson, okay. You're one of the lead vocalists right?"

Blaine nods and grins. If Kurt didn't know any better he'd think that Blaine's grin is because Kurt knows him but he knows how ridiculous that is. There's no way that Blaine knows anything about him other than his name. He shouldn't flatter himself. "Yeah, that's me. You've only been a member a few weeks so I won't be too offended that you didn't know who I was."

"So, um… I'm really sorry about the soda again," Kurt says, glancing at Blaine, as if trying to memorize his features because he is absolutely gorgeous. He's different than Sebastian, almost the opposite. Sebastian is tall and Blaine is short, Sebastian has lighter hair and Blaine has darker. Sebastian's hair is perfectly coiffed and similar to Kurt's in that it defies gravity. Blaine's hair is gelled down completely. 

Shaking his head, Blaine smiles, taking Kurt's wrist. His touch is gentle as he leads Kurt away towards the bathroom and Kurt glances at Sebastian, seeing that Sebastian isn't paying attention. Kurt sets his jaw and goes with Blaine without a fuss. "You really don't have to worry about it. There's just a bit on our skin. At least it's not all over our clothes. Yours look kind of expensive."

"Oh, they're not. I mean, they kind of are but I'm good at spotting deals and I modify a lot of my own clothes," Kurt says, unable to resist bragging just a little bit about his clothing. He's proud of them, though, so he doesn't see why he shouldn't brag.

Blaine looks at him with surprise and something that Kurt isn't quite sure of on his face. It makes him feel warm and he shifts slightly as he watches Blaine search through cupboards until he finds a wash rag and hands the rag over to Kurt so that Kurt can rinse off first. "Really? That's amazing, Kurt. It looks like you just have a bunch of designer clothes. I mean, I only see you in them on weekends… not that I see you much. Okay, I think I should shut up now."

Giggling, Kurt hands the rag over when he's not sticky anymore, trying not to watch Blaine's arms as he washes off. "Um, thank you."

"Right…" Blaine clears his throat and they stand in silence as Blaine finishes washing off before setting the rag over the hamper. "So, we should probably get back to the party."

Kurt tries not to blush as he looks down. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you around, though? I mean, I don't know why we don't really hang out in the same circle of Warblers."

Blaine nods and it's as if he can't resist the urge to reach out and trail his fingers down Kurt's arm, making the other boy shiver. "I'll see you."

Blaine leaves first and Kurt takes a few moments to just breathe, looking into the mirror. Sebastian makes him feel so much sometimes, different emotions and feelings of being cared for but he's never really felt like this. It's different, odd and he's not even sure if he likes it or not. Once he's sure that he's completely composed, he heads out of the bathroom. Sebastian is on the dance floor and he beckons Kurt out to join him. 

"Having fun?" Sebastian asks once Kurt's in front of him. Sebastian's arms slip around Kurt's waist and Kurt wraps his arms around Sebastian's neck, pulling him close. Most of the people on the dance floor are grinding and making out but the two of them just step as close as they can get and sway together.

"Mm-hmm," Kurt murmurs, pressing forward and resting his cheek on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian reaches up, stroking Kurt's hair and it's so comfortable. Better than anything that anybody else could make him feel, Kurt is sure and he just wishes that Sebastian felt the same way.

*

"You act as if we didn't just sleep together two nights ago," Sebastian says, rolling his eyes as Kurt pointedly grabs a cookie that Sebastian didn't bite into.

Kurt rolls his eyes back, leaning his hip against the counter and biting into the cookie, letting out a teasing moan once he's tasted it. "Mm, this is really good. And we didn't _sleep_ together. We just slept together in the same bed. And you snore and steal the covers while we're discussing it."

Grinning, Sebastian snags the cookie out of Kurt's hand, deliberately biting into the same spot that Kurt's teeth marks are and Kurt tries so hard not to smile. "I don't do either of those things. You cuddle, though."

"Right, I should've warned you about that." Kurt likes flirting with Sebastian, he's discovered. Although Sebastian has his rough edges and cares very deeply what people think of him (even though he tries to pretend otherwise), Sebastian isn't cruel. He doesn't unfairly tease him or make fun of him even when Kurt says embarrassing things. "You didn't seem to mind."

Sebastian shrugs, reaching forward to wrap his arm around Kurt's waist and pulling him closer. "I certainly didn't mind. Although, you drool in your sleep too."

Kurt's eyes widen, a blush sliding up his cheeks and he's not sure whether he wants to glare or run away in mortification. "Shut up. I didn't drool that much."

"If you think that half covering my pillow isn't much," Sebastian teases with a playful shrug. Kurt stays silent, still not sure what to say but Sebastian just squeezes his hand gently. "I'm just teasing you, Kurt. It wasn't too bad."

Kurt finally opens his mouth to try to respond but the teacher is the one who speaks first. "Boys, if you've finished your cookies then clean up your station, wrap them up, leave one for me for grading and write the questions on the board to answer later."

Sighing, Sebastian leans in to kiss Kurt and it's completely worth any trouble that he could've gotten in when Kurt blushes but smiles. "Don't kiss me in public."

"I'll kiss you whenever I want," Sebastian says with a smirk. He leans in to kiss him again but Kurt shakes his head, pushing at Sebastian's chest until Sebastian backs up with a sigh. "Fine, let's clean up then."

It's the last day of their cooking unit and Sebastian and Kurt work seamlessly at this point. They don't need to communicate to know who is picking up which thing and it's clean before anybody else even has their cookies out of the oven. Kurt wraps up the cookie for the teacher and then evenly separates his and Sebastian's cookies. "Here's your portion."

Sebastian takes the bag of cookies and opens it, pulling one out to eat it. "Thanks," he says around a full mouth. 

Kurt doesn't answer, sitting down and taking out his pencil. When Sebastian holds his hand out for him, though, he threads their fingers together. Sebastian slides his thumb across Kurt's skin and Kurt wonders whether this is really a good choice. Every day he falls a little bit more for Sebastian and it feels so natural. He knows that Sebastian wouldn't hurt him intentionally but the open relationship just hurts him a little bit more every day.

From next to him, Sebastian seems to notice his tension, so in tune with Kurt in a way that hurts. "You okay?" Sebastian asks after he swallows another massive bite of cookie, leaning over to poke Kurt's side with a pencil.

Kurt nods, letting out a slow breath and smiling over at Sebastian. Sebastian seems to be able to sense that it's not a completely happy smile but Kurt leans over to press a short kiss to Sebastian's lips. "I'm fine. Thank you."

"You'll tell me if you're not?" Sebastian asks.

He sounds so concerned that Kurt feels his heart clench painfully in his chest. Kurt knows that Sebastian just honestly doesn't realize what the relationship is doing to Kurt. It makes it at least a little better. At least Sebastian isn't purposefully hurting him. "I will," Kurt confirms, squeezing Sebastian's hand. Sebastian still looks suspicious and Kurt is thankful when he lets the conversation drop.

*

Kurt sighs as he pulls his bag higher up over his shoulder, watching as Sebastian leans in closer to the Warbler that he's talking to, Jason, Kurt is pretty sure is his name. "You sounded really great at rehearsals, Kurt." Kurt jumps at Blaine's voice, whirling around and very nearly hitting him with his bag. Blaine laughs, holding up his hands in surrender and Kurt's smile is automatic.

"Thank you. So did you. You're really going to win us Regionals," Kurt responds, pointedly not looking over at Sebastian flirting with Jason. He doesn't want to watch, can't stand what it does to his heart and so he focuses on Blaine's radiant smile instead.

Blaine shrugs in a modest way, as if he really can't see himself winning Regionals for them even though he obviously has one of the best voices and two of the songs as solos. "It's a good group. I think we have a lot of talent this year. We haven't always."

As soon as Kurt glances over at Sebastian, he realizes what a mistake it was, feeling nausea rising as he sees the way that Jason is running his fingers up and down Sebastian's arms. Clearing his throat, he turns back to Blaine, a small smile on his lips that doesn't reach his eyes. "It is a good group but you're the one with two solos. You're the one who's going to lead us to Regionals and it's going to be fantastic."

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt knows what Blaine is going to ask before he does and he's nervous but he nods. Blaine looks just as nervous because it's such a personal question. Kurt tries to keep his expression as open as possible, wanting to seem as if he has nothing to hide. "Isn't Sebastian your soulmate?"

Kurt had known it was coming but Sebastian's name makes him glance over and he breathes in sharply as he sees just how close they are, how Sebastian's eyes are on Jason's lips. "He is," Kurt confirms softly, not able to make himself look back at Blaine this time.

"So… what's he doing over there?" 

With a sigh, Kurt forces his eyes away from his soulmate and he considers Blaine. He's got such beautiful eyes. Kurt want to melt into them, want to stare at them forever to try to determine each little color in them, wants to get lost in him. They feel safe, make Kurt think that Blaine is safe. But they don't make Kurt feel like Sebastian. "It's complicated."

Blaine seems to be able to tell by the tone of voice that Kurt doesn't want to talk about it and Kurt is infinitely grateful for that. Even though he and Blaine have gotten a bit closer since their meeting, greetings in the hallway and little conversations like this, Blaine isn't exactly the first person that Kurt would go to for advice on Sebastian. "Well, I have this essay due in history class on Monday that I really need to work on. Would you like to go to the library with me and we can talk?"

Before Kurt can answer, he feels an arm wrap around his waist and he jumps in surprise, looking over and smiling tensely as he sees Sebastian. Sebastian's thumb rubs circles on his hips and he sends Blaine a glare that Kurt isn't sure about. He didn't even know they really knew each other besides both being lead vocalists in the Warblers so he has no idea why Sebastian is glaring at Blaine. "You ready to go back to your room, Kurt? I'll walk you and get my jacket and then we can go down to dinner together."

Looking over at Blaine, Kurt tries to make sure that it won't be too rude to leave right now even though he really wants to. He wants Sebastian's attention, especially after what he'd been forced to watch with Jason. Kurt just wants to kiss Sebastian, wants to feel how much that Sebastian wants him even if it he isn't ready for an exclusive relationship right now. Blaine just shrugs and Kurt smiles up at Sebastian. "Sure. I'd love to. Blaine, can we meet tomorrow to discuss that essay?"

"Of course," Blaine says with a smile that's just bordering on too polite as he looks over at Sebastian but it seems much more genuine when it's directed at Kurt. Obviously there's something there that Kurt doesn't know about. Blaine just gives him a wave as Sebastian's hand tightens on his hip. "I'll see you later, Kurt."

Kurt waves back, leaning into Sebastian's side as they head back to his room. He wants to say something, ask about Jason, know if they're going to go out or fuck or anything but he's not sure that he wants the answer. That's the only way that he can get through this ridiculous open relationship agreement. He doesn't want to know what Sebastian is doing no matter how much it hurts to be kept in the dark.

*

Sitting in the library with Blaine is nice, Kurt decides after only an hour of it. Blaine is nice company, especially since they both have schoolwork to do and Blaine doesn't distract him like Sebastian does. They simply sit in comfortable silence, only talking when they have something to say about their essays and otherwise just listening to the sounds of their pencils on paper. After another half an hour, Blaine puts his pencil down and Kurt quickly looks back at his own paper, trying to pretend like he wasn't staring. It's hard not to stare, though. Blaine concentrating is a wonderful thing to look at.

"You can tell me if I'm overstepping but you and Sebastian…" Blaine says, trailing off and Kurt sets down his pencil.

He supposes that if they're going to be friends, going to hang out outside of Warblers practice and the cafeteria then maybe Blaine can know. It's only a few select friends of Kurt and Sebastian's that know the truth, about how Kurt and Sebastian _are_ together, it's just that Sebastian happens to be involved with other people as well. Most people are polite enough not to ask, some don't realize that they're soulmates, and others simply don't care no matter how different it is.

Kurt clears his throat, fingers playing with his pencil as he tries to think of a way to explain it. "What about us?" he finally asks, deciding that answering questions is bound to be easier than simply trying to explain it. 

"Well, are you two… together? I mean, you said you're soulmates." Blaine is obviously trying so hard to not overstep, to keep things polite and Kurt appreciates the effort.

"We are. To both those. We're soulmates and we're together. It's kind of… kind of an open relationship. We're not exclusive. We're together but he goes and- I mean, we both can… It's kind of- I guess he just isn't ready to be with just me." Kurt shrugs, unable to really explain it past the lump that's in his throat. He doesn't like to think about the relationship, the fact that he's not the only one who gets to touch Sebastian when he's the only one that ever should. 

Blaine's eyes widen and he reaches out, obviously seeing that he distressed Kurt. His hand is warm when it rests on top of Kurt's and Kurt only hesitates a moment before turning his hand so he can slide his fingers through Blaine's. Blaine's hand is soft in a way that Sebastian's just never are no matter how much he uses the lotion that Kurt had bought him and begged him to use. It's a nice change and Kurt squeezes his hand gently. 

"He's crazy then," Blaine says, his voice quiet and Kurt's head jerks up, looking at Blaine in surprise. It's as if he doesn't understand the words as he goes over them in his mind. Looking embarrassed but determined, Blaine goes on. "I think- Kurt, I think you're really amazing and if you were my soulmate, I would want you now."

There's a loud crash from the other side of the library and they both pull apart. Until they're apart, Kurt hadn't even realized how close that they'd been and he bites his lip. "He said that he's not ready to commit right now. He said that teenage years are for experimenting and having fun." Kurt swallows but he can't stop the flood of words now that they're coming out, no matter how much he wants to. "I don't think that's fair. Once you find your soulmate you're supposed to want to be with them. I want to be with him. Why doesn't he want me as much as I want him?"

When Blaine lays his hand down on the table, palm up, Kurt gratefully slips his hand back in. He shivers although he's not sure if it's from the cold or nerves and he makes an effort not to lean forward as he was again. "I can't answer that but… You're amazing, Kurt. Like I said, you really are. I… well, I noticed you from the very beginning. You chose to go in a different crowd than I normally hang out with but I really… I really liked you. I mean, I do like you. I just heard that you and Sebastian are soulmates so I figured I should back off."

Kurt shakes his head, not sure if he's really hearing this right or maybe he's dreaming. It's so much, suddenly so intense and he really wishes that he could take a breath but his lungs seem to not want to work for him. "You shouldn't. I mean, you don't have to back off," he says, somewhat breathlessly. "Like I said, it's an open relationship."

"Uh, well. Um."

"Oh god, was that too hinty? You were probably just being polite or… I'm so sorry." Kurt covers his mouth with both hands, a flush sliding up his cheeks.

Immediately, Blaine's eyes widen, his breath leaving him in a whoosh and he forces words out. "No, no, I'm sorry. I couldn't believe it. Will you go out to dinner with me on Saturday, Kurt? I'd really love to get to know you better, outside of school and I figure that's a really good way to. And it would be a date. If you want. Or it can be just between friends."

Kurt smiles and he feels his heart contract because Blaine wants to go out on a date with him. Not because he feels sorry for him or even because he has his name scrawled across his neck. He wants to go out on a date with him for him. "Yes," Kurt murmurs, his smile widening further.

"Great. Um, so meet in the front of the school to sign out at 5? That way most everybody will be heading to dinner so we don't have to answer a million questions."

Blaine seems nervous by that little detail but Kurt nods because that sounds perfect. It's not that they're going to keep this, whatever it is, a secret between them but he doesn't want to have to explain to everybody right now. He just wants to enjoy a nice date (date!) with Blaine.

*

Kurt opens his mouth underneath Sebastian's, fingers sliding up and through his hair, sucking on Sebastian's tongue as it slips past his lips. He's equal parts terrified and thrilled as Sebastian's hand trails down his stomach, teasing the fabric of his shirt but before it can get anywhere close to his jeans Sebastian's hand moves back up and Kurt pulls back to groan. 

"What?"

"Do you not want me?" The words are out before he can think about them, the worry making his words louder than he means them to be. He supposes that it should be a silly question considering that they're soulmates but Sebastian just doesn't seem to want to do things the right way.

Immediately, Sebastian leans back, brows furrowing as he looks at Kurt. He seems confused before awareness dawns on his face and he shakes his head. "Kurt, you're the one who came up with the no hands below the waist rule. I'm just trying to stick with your boundaries."

Kurt flushes because yes but that was what felt like ages ago. Now he wants Sebastian, trusts him not to hurt him and he rests his hands on Sebastian's shoulders. "Maybe I've changed my mind," he whispers, words loaded with embarrassment but his voice doesn't shake. He knows that he's ready. At this point, he knows that he's so ready.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian sounds shocked, concerned in a way that makes Kurt close his eyes and cherish the feeling, but he doesn't take long, nodding, not wanting to explain because he knows that he'll ruin Sebastian's mood if he goes on about his feelings. Sebastian groans, leaning down to catch Kurt's lips again and it's deeper now, holding more promise for something to come as Sebastian's tongue slides past his lips again. 

Kurt is unsure of what to do with his hands, his legs but Sebastian takes control. His touch is gentle as he slides his fingers up under Kurt's shirt, pulling it above his head. It's the first time that Sebastian has seen him like this and Kurt feels goosebumps rising on his skin immediately. For a moment, he considers covering himself up but Sebastian doesn't let him, moving slowly as he kisses across Kurt's chest, taking Kurt's hands in his and holding them carefully away so that Kurt can't cover himself with them.

The purpose in each subtle movement makes Kurt's heart pound, Sebastian moving to really straddle Kurt's waist and he rests his hands on Sebastian's shoulders when Sebastian lets go, his fingers digging in each time he feels Sebastian's teeth across skin, every time that Sebastian sucks gently to leave a light pink mark that he knows will fade before they're even done.

"Relax, Kurt," Sebastian whispers and his breath is warm on skin that's never had anybody touch before. Kurt gasps, back arching as Sebastian's tongue flicks across his nipple, his lips pressing to his skin. It's thrilling, intriguing, almost odd in a way but it sends sparks clear through Kurt's body until he wants to just cry with it.

"Sebastian…"

Sebastian lifts up his head but that's the opposite that Kurt wants to he just shakes his head, trying to arch up into Sebastian's touch again, making the other boy chuckle. "Tell me if you want me to stop," Sebastian whispers sincerely and Kurt knows that he'd stop. He always knows that, would trust Sebastian with his very life even if Sebastian doesn't think that he deserves it. Kurt knows that he does.

"Don't stop," Kurt manages to get out, his voice shaking as Sebastian's fingers tease across his chest. It's overwhelming and Kurt tries to concentrate on the way that everything feels, the steady weight of Sebastian on his thighs, Sebastian's warm breath tickling his skin. Every kiss burns his skin, making him crave more.

At Kurt's words, Sebastian lets out a groan (Kurt whimpers when he can _feel_ it against his chest), lifting up his head. "You make it hard to take my time when you want it so badly," Sebastian whispers. His movements are quick and Kurt isn't even aware of where his hand is going before suddenly it's squeezing him through his pants. Kurt's hips rock up without a conscious thought and he doesn't know why he ever thought that he should wait because this is the best feeling in the world.

Kurt's fingers tangle in Sebastian's hair as Sebastian sucks hard on a spot right above his hips. He never knew that he would want something like he wants this. He doesn't know whether it's the feeling of this or whether it's the connection with Sebastian but it doesn't really matter.

As Sebastian moves to undo Kurt's pants, Kurt freezes, grabbing Sebastian's wrists and Sebastian raises his eyebrows. "You first," he whispers.

"If you insist," Sebastian responds and Kurt's thankful that it doesn't turn into an issue. Kurt watches through lowered lids as Sebastian moves, stripping off all of his clothes and there's absolutely no hesitation in his movements, just impatience and confidence. It wasn't what Kurt had expected. He'd expected him to leave his underwear on but Sebastian hooks his fingers in his briefs and drops them over the side of the bed before climbing back on the bed and sitting up on his knees. "Can I now?"

For a moment, Kurt can only stare. He's never really seen anybody like this before, not when he's allowed to look without the other person caring. Sebastian is… big. That's his first thought. Thicker than Kurt is although they're probably the same length. There's a bead of pre-come on his tip and Kurt has half a second of wondering how it tastes before he shakes himself, realizing that he's been staring at Sebastian as Sebastian watches him in amusement.

"This is nothing to be ashamed of," Sebastian murmurs and that's when Kurt gives a nod, permission to remove his pants.

Sebastian's movements are much slower than when he'd removed his own clothes, leaving time if Kurt wants to pull away, make him stop but he doesn't. He lifts up his hips, letting Sebastian pull down his pants and flushing over the way that it's obvious he's hard in his briefs. He thinks that he's going to burst into flames embarrassment and- And oh. Kurt's hips jerk up, his breath catching as Sebastian leans, mouthing at his cock through his briefs. It's different, almost too much, scratchy but wonderful at the same time and he thinks that he could definitely get behind a blowjob.

When he's properly distracted by the feeling, Sebastian hooks his fingers in Kurt's underwear, waiting for Kurt to lift his hips before he pulls them down and tosses aside, sitting up and waiting patiently as Kurt becomes aware of what just happened. And how he's naked. Very naked. Completely exposed. 

"You're beautiful, Kurt."

Kurt melts at that, the soft tone, the way that Sebastian cares enough to say it. He doesn't know if believes that Sebastian thinks it or not but the words are enough. 

"Do you have any lube?" Sebastian's words almost ruin the moment as Kurt chuckles, leaning over to grab the bottle of lube out of his bedside cabinet and holding out to him. He is a teenage boy after all. And he does use it fairly regularly although he's never ventured past his cock and suddenly he's nervous again, tense as he wonders what Sebastian is going to do. "Relax."

"But I-"

Sebastian shakes his head, his fingers firm on Kurt's skin as Kurt's stomach contracts. He doesn't want to get away from his fingers, not really, it's just a natural reaction. "I'm not going to enter you today, I just-"

"What? Why?" Kurt asks, sitting up and okay, maybe he should feel a bit awkward. They are both completely naked and now they're almost pressed chest to chest because Sebastian didn't move back as would be polite. Instead, he moves to sit on Kurt's thighs and look at him with a smirk. The way that their cocks brush, skin catching on skin makes Kurt groan before he gets back to what he's doing. "I thought we agreed that-"

"We agreed that we're going to have sex. And we are. We're going to come together. But you're tight and I want to stretch you a while. There's plenty of other fun things for us to do. Penetration is awesome but it's not the only thing," Sebastian says in a mischievous tone of voice that probably should've scared Kurt. It doesn't. In fact, he kind of likes it.

And oh, he really likes it as Sebastian pushed his shoulders back down again so that he is laying on his back, Sebastian hovering over him. He can hear the click as Sebastian opens the lube, can hear both of their breathing in the quiet room and the tick of his clock. There are so many little things that he is suddenly aware of and then it all seemed to explode.

Sebastian lines them up carefully, one hand next to Kurt's head as he leans in to kiss him as his other hand wraps around both of their cocks. The sudden feeling, heat, tightness around him made him jump, his hips thrusting without his conscience thought and Sebastian laughs. Kurt can feel his breath against his lips as his head falls back and Sebastian takes the opportunity to press his lips to Kurt's neck.

"What- Oh, Seb- Oh my god," Kurt mutters, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Sebastian's hair, the other on his back. He can feel Sebastian's muscles, feel the sweat on his back and it should be gross. He should be freaked out, nervous still or something. They were… well, can he count this as sex? He'll count it as their first time at least.

Sebastian groans, his teeth scraping across Kurt's pulse point, making Kurt whimper as Sebastian strokes them both slowly. "I was going to stretch you, open you up and play with you for a while. So we can have that eventually. But damn it, Kurt, you're so-"

As Sebastian trails off Kurt can't help but feel a bit of pride. He's making Sebastian like this. Silly Kurt with no experience. They're soulmates and that matters in moments like this. He's knocking Sebastian speechless.

Sebastian's grip is firm on them and Kurt digs his fingernails into Sebastian's back, scratching down. His body is unmarked and Kurt wonders if he tells people not to mark him. He wonders if Sebastian's going to stop him and he leans up experimentally, putting his lips to Sebastian's shoulder, kissing and then sucking hard. The motion makes Sebastian's hips jump.

The sound is enough to have Kurt groaning, the squelch of the lube and Kurt can feel sweat and pre-come and Sebastian's thumb rubbing across his head to smear it. He's mortified as he comes, absolutely no warning whatsoever, his back arching and his mouth opening in a silent o shape. 

Sebastian continues stroking him through it, looking in Kurt's eyes carefully.

"Please don't tease me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sebastian says in that way that lets Kurt know that he was planning on doing exactly that.

When Sebastian comes, Kurt's breathing is nearly back to normal and he scoops up a bit from his stomach, sticking it in his mouth. The taste is… not something that he cares for which Sebastian promises will get better with experience. The way that Sebastian kisses him afterwards makes him think that he'd love to practice.

*

In the few weeks since their first time, Kurt's finding that he's a lot happier. Sebastian's been more affectionate towards him which is always a plus. As embarrassing as it is, he can't get enough of Sebastian's touch. While they haven't gone all the way yet, Sebastian is teaching him all the other fun things that they can do. Sometimes Kurt appreciates it but other times, when Sebastian is able to deep-throat him without any difficulty, Kurt just thinks about how many other people that Sebastian is probably doing this with at the same time.

Kurt heads down the hallway on a Sunday night, tired eyes but they've taken to wishing each other goodnight every night. It started with Kurt since he likes making sure that he sees Sebastian every day and now one of them will come to the other's dorm for at least a goodnight kiss. Kurt loves that Sebastian humors him with it, knows that it's kind of silly.

When Kurt reaches Sebastian's dorm room, he checks his watch, seeing that it's still during the required hours of the doors being unlocked so he doesn't bother knocking before opening the door. He had just passed Sebastian's roommate heading the opposite direction so hopefully they could have some time to themselves. "Fuck, _Sebastian_!"

Kurt freezes in the doorway, seeing Sebastian on his knees and a boy that he doesn't recognize with his fingers tangled in Sebastian's hair. Sebastian doesn't even turn in his direction as he pulls off the other boy's cock. "Matthew, I told you to give me at least 30 minutes!"

A choked sob leaves Kurt's lips and he quickly covers his mouth. The other boy looks so unashamed as his eyes meet Kurt's and it's just so much worse than Kurt had ever imagined he'd feel. At the sound of his sob, Sebastian whips around and Kurt just meets his eyes before he slams the door behind him, hearing Sebastian calling his name.

Kurt doesn't know where he's going to go, doesn't want to see Sebastian and he knows that his dorm room will be the first place that he's going to look. Instead, he finds himself in front of Blaine's room, knocking insistently and hoping that he's not interrupting anything and that Blaine is in there. As soon as Blaine opens up his door, Kurt practically falls into his arms, sobbing. "Whoa, hey, okay," Blaine murmurs, pulling Kurt inside and shutting the door.

Blaine's hand comes up to run through Kurt's hair as he whispers soothing things that Kurt's sobbing too hard to understand. "I saw him," Kurt chokes out, burying his face in Blaine's shoulder, not even caring that the t-shirt Blaine's wearing is scratchy on his skin. "I saw him with somebody else, giving a _blowjob_ to somebody else."

"Oh," Blaine whispers and he pulls Kurt with him towards the bed. Kurt lets him maneuver him, doing all the right things so that he can curl up next to Blaine, one of Blaine's arms wrapped around him. "But you knew it was going on right?"

Those words make Kurt start laughing, half-hysterical sobbing laughter that makes Blaine look freaked out and hold onto him tighter. "Oh yeah. I knew. But that doesn't mean that I wanted to see him on his knees. It doesn't mean that it's okay."

Blaine sighs softly, realizing how silly that the words were and he rubs Kurt's arm in what he obviously wants to be a comforting gesture. "I'm really sorry, Kurt. I know how hard that must be."

It's an understatement. How hard it is. And there's no way that Blaine knows how it feels. It feels like over and over his heart is being ripped out of his chest. Every time Kurt gets to stand there, the boyfriend who's just not good enough, watching Sebastian flirting and knowing that he might fuck them. Every time it just hurts worse and he doesn't know how much longer he can handle this.

In the beginning, he'd thought that Sebastian would change his mind. First, he thought that he'd choose to be with him after he found out that they were soulmates. When Sebastian proposed the open relationship, Kurt thought that he'd see that it was wrong, that they were meant to be together, and would choose to be with just Kurt. Except, it doesn't seem like Sebastian is going to find anything wrong with it. It seems that Sebastian just really likes it this way and that thought is the worst.

Blaine seems to understand what Kurt means even if Kurt doesn't say a word and Blaine's quiet comfort is good for him. It calms him down and he stops crying after a while, instead just staying cuddled close to him. "Are you okay? Well, not okay but better?"

"Yes. Thank you. And I'm sorry. I know that this must be weird… Comforting your kind of boyfriend over his other boyfriend but I really, really appreciate you being here for me."

"Are you my boyfriend?" Blaine asks softly.

They're both red-cheeked and Kurt opens and closes his mouth a few times before he can really force words out. "I thought I was."

Blaine nods, seeming to consider something. "You know, we haven't even had a first kiss." The next thing that Kurt is aware of is Blaine's lips against his. Blaine's lips are soft, his touch gentle and their lips slide together easily as Kurt brings a hand up to Blaine's cheek, keeping him in close. It's not like Sebastian's kisses. Sebastian's kisses are always so hot, almost claiming but Blaine's more tentative. "Should I apologize?" Blaine asks the second that they're pulling away.

Kurt smiles softly and he feels a surge of affection for Blaine for asking but he shakes his head. "Don't apologize. _Please_ ," he whispers. Blaine smiles and Kurt leans up to kiss him again, just because he can. Sebastian isn't the only one who can find people who aren't their soulmate to want them. And Kurt wants Blaine right back. Just maybe not quite as much as he wants Sebastian.

*

For four whole days, Kurt avoids Sebastian. He makes up excuses for why he isn't at Warbler's practice, spends all of his time either in Blaine's dorm room or somewhere else that Sebastian won't find him, and ignores all of the increasingly angry texts from Sebastian. Finally, he knows that he can't avoid him any longer and he goes to Sebastian's dorm, knocking on the door, having learned his lesson from last time. He doesn't need to see how much that Sebastian doesn't miss him.

Sebastian opens the door, looking murderous and the expression darkens even further when he sees Kurt. "How the hell did you manage to evade me for four days in a _boarding school_?" Sebastian asks.

His voice conveys frustration but Kurt can hear the joke that Sebastian's trying to make so he isn't as nervous as he could be as he steps inside. "It's easy when I have somebody else to spend my time with." Kurt knows what he's saying and he wishes that the words would sting but he's sure that they won't. Sebastian doesn't care, after all.

"Well," Sebastian says, sounding surprised. Kurt shrugs unapologetically, moving to sit down on the bed, crossing his ankles looking up at him. "So what are you doing here then? What made you decide to stop avoiding me?"

That question hurts Kurt and he wonders whether Sebastian missed him even a little. Did he care about those four days? Because every single second that Kurt wasn't around Sebastian had been painful for Kurt. Did Sebastian feel the same thing? No, probably not. At least, it doesn't seem so and Kurt clears his throat, forcing himself not to show any emotion. "I think we have to talk."

"If this is about that blowjob that I gave then I don't want to hear it," Sebastian says, his voice rough as he crosses his arms over his chest. "You're the one who came in without knowing. You know that I'm doing it. I'm not apologizing for it."

Kurt's heart clenches at the mention of it, his mind suddenly overwhelmed with the image of Sebastian blowing the boy whose name he still doesn't know and he really doesn't want to know it. "Yes, okay? Yes, it is about the blowjob. We had sex, Sebastian! Just two nights previous you were giving me a blowjob and then I walk in and see you giving one to him. Do I mean anything to you?"

"I'm with you, aren't I?" Sebastian snaps, shaking his head and he looks so tense as he starts moving back and forth across the floor, pacing. "I'm in a relationship with you. This is what you _wanted_ , Kurt. To be with me. Yes, I'm with other people but none of them are really my boyfriend. What about Blaine, hmm? You're not exactly innocent over there."

Jaw dropping, Kurt can only stare at Sebastian a moment before he shoots up, hands clenched in fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms. "I'm with Blaine because you don't want to be with me completely! If you would just do what you're supposed to do as my _soulmate_ then we wouldn't have this problem!"

"Don't talk to me about what I'm _supposed_ to do. All I should have to do is fuck around with any guys that I want to! It's not my fault that I'm stuck with you just because our names happen to be on each other's necks." Immediately Sebastian seems to know that he went too far, his mouth opening before closing tightly, a defiant expression on his face.

Kurt bites the inside of his lip, nodding and looking down at the floor. "Well, maybe you shouldn't be stuck with me. I don't want you in the relationship if you feel like that. I'm not trying to force you to be with me. I want to be with you because I want _you_ , not because of some stupid letters on my skin."

Sighing, Sebastian moves forward to wrap his arms around Kurt's waist, surprising him as he pulls him in close. Kurt tenses for just a moment before moving in willingly, arms sliding up and around Sebastian's neck. "I didn't mean it like that. I like you too, Kurt. You know that. I wouldn't actually be with you just because you're my soulmate. I would be perfectly okay with turning my back on a relationship with you, which you should know, since I did for a while. I just don't want to be tied down."

While Kurt knows that Sebastian meant the words to be comforting, he doesn't find any comfort from them. It just sounds like another excuse, another way for Sebastian to tell him that he doesn't want him. If Kurt were better, if Kurt were good enough then Sebastian would want to be with just him. "I know," Kurt whispers, burying his face in Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian reaches up to run his fingers through Kurt's hair, obviously feeling that Kurt is still tense. Kurt can't make it go away, though. He can't make himself stop wishing that he were just better.

*

Kurt can't really imagine how difficult that it is for Blaine, dating him. Half the time, Kurt is talking about Sebastian and the other half of the time, he's thinking about him. Kurt can't help it, though. Part of him wishes that he hadn't met Sebastian yet. Part of him just wishes that he could enjoy dating Blaine without having to think about Sebastian, wishes that he could've met Blaine differently. It doesn't work that way, though and all he can ever think about is Sebastian no matter how unfair that it is to Blaine.

On their fourth date, Kurt is enjoying himself for the most part. It's always nice to spend time with Blaine. They laugh together and have fun and they share so many interests. Blaine is a complete gentleman, always opening doors and pulling out chairs and honestly, he would be the perfect boyfriend for Kurt. Except, Sebastian is his perfect mate. He knows that and there's nothing that either one of them can do about it. "So, what are your plans for later?" Blaine asks, picking up his soda and taking a long drink.

Kurt shrugs, picking up his own soda and swirling the drink with his straw. They've finished eating both dinner and dessert and are now just sitting and enjoying each other's company. At this point, neither one wants the date to end. That's how they always feel, though, and more often than not they stay for hours after they've finished whatever kind of date they're having. They're good friends before they're boyfriends. Their kisses are getting hotter, more tongue and biting and Kurt knows how silly it is but he loves how Blaine tastes. It's different than Sebastian. "Um, I haven't decided?" Kurt responds softly, the words turning into a question because honestly he'd planned to just go home and go to bed.

"Just curious. Because listen, I'm going home for the weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to come. I know that you have Sebastian and all so you probably don't want to and if you wanted to go home for the weekend you could go to your own family but-" Blaine stops himself, taking a deep breath and tilting his head to the side. "I just thought that you might want to come. No pressure. I have to stop by school to get my stuff first and we have a guest room so…"

Kurt takes a drink of soda to give himself a minute to think about. It's… kind of a nice idea. He likes the thought of seeing where Blaine lives. After all, he's been to Sebastian's house so why can't he see where his other boyfriend lives? Although, thinking about it like that (his other boyfriend) always makes him want to cringe because he never imagined himself dating two guys at once before. 

When Kurt still doesn't respond, Blaine winces and shakes his head, tapping his fingers nervously against the table. "You don't have to. Just forget that I mentioned it. I'm sorry. I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?"

"Calm down. It's okay, I promise," Kurt says with a short laugh. He pulls out his phone, glancing at the time and then looking up. "Can I text Sebastian first and see what he says?"

Blaine waves his hand and of course he'd have no problem with him. He's too perfect sometimes and it makes Kurt feel guilty to think of him stuck with Kurt in this situation. 

_Blaine invited me over for a sleepover. Do you have plans tonight? Not sure if I should go or not. -K_

While Kurt waits for an answer, he and Blaine talk about the history class that they share, laughing over the antics of some of the students in the class. It's nice with Blaine, so easy and he barely notices the minutes passing until his phone is vibrating.

**I'm busy. Going to be all night. Or at least for a very long few hours. So go and spend the night with Blaine. -S**

The text seems harsh, deliberately hurtful and Kurt sucks in a breath. A few more hours. Oh, Kurt knows what he's going to be doing then. "Are you okay?" Blaine asks softly, furrowing his brows.

Kurt nods, determined not to let the fact that his soulmate is sleeping with other people bother him. He wonders whether it could be jealousy, the fact that Kurt is going to spend the night with Blaine but Kurt has _told_ Sebastian that he isn't going to sleep with anybody but him. Sebastian had shrugged his shoulders at the time, telling Kurt that it was his own choice and he didn't care if he did. Considering that, it can't be jealousy. Kurt just wishes that he knew what it is. "I'm fine. Sebastian's just being an idiot. Yeah, I'd love to go. I'll have to pack my things up really quick."

"No problem," Blaine says, breathing a sigh of relief and it's kind of cute how worried that Blaine was over Kurt's answer.

Pushing Sebastian out of his mind, Kurt turns his phone on vibrate and shoves it back into his pocket. Blaine is amazing and wonderful and loving and kind and so understanding. Kurt doesn't need Sebastian. He doesn't need Sebastian's hot and cold, back and forth nature. All he needs is Blaine. Or, at least, he wishes that all he needed was Blaine. Unfortunately, he knows better.

*

Kurt watches from the background, vocalizing with the rest of the Warblers. It's been hectic, trying to get to Regionals and Kurt has felt like he's been walking on eggshells. Blaine and Sebastian had gotten a solo each and the other song was going to be one that they all sang. At the knowledge that they both had solos, Blaine and Sebastian, or really Sebastian, had decided that they hated each other more than ever. Kurt had felt like he had been going back and forth between two countries at war. Sebastian was open about his hatred of Blaine but Blaine was always diplomatic. The only sign that Blaine is ever frustrated is a tightening of his lips.

The song is easy, simple and it is a good choice, even if it wasn't Kurt's first one. The Council had made the decision that they thought was best and it's true that Blaine, Sebastian and the Warblers all sound impeccable singing the three songs. Blaine and Sebastian can both move as well, dancing and generally having fun across the stage. Sebastian does a flip in the middle of the song to the awe of the crowd and Kurt feels a surge of pride even as he remembers how annoyed that he's been with Sebastian lately.

Sebastian seems to be doing everything in his power to frustrate Kurt. They've stopped having any kind of sex, the last time was a quick and messy blowjob that Sebastian gave Kurt and neither even had time for Kurt to reciprocate. It's ridiculous and Kurt can't help but wonder whether Sebastian's just fulfilling that need elsewhere and that hurts. Sebastian talks about Blaine more than Kurt thinks about Blaine, Kurt is pretty sure. It's always Blaine this or Blaine that and Kurt always defends him which just causes fight after fight. Honestly, Kurt is more ready than ever to just give up on the whole soulmates thing. He loves Sebastian, truly he does, but he can't handle this.

The Warblers are last to perform and they got into the waiting room for the judges to deliberate. Kurt glances at Sebastian, wondering whether he should sit by him but Sebastian is already talking to another Warbler and Kurt goes to rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. "This couch is really uncomfortable. Least they could do is have nice couches," Kurt jokes, looking over at him. "You were really good, by the way. Your solo was amazing."

"Thank you. You sounded good too," Blaine says which Kurt knows is a flat lie because even his voice can't be recognized over everybody else's. Blaine seems to think that he's serious so Kurt smiles, tilting his head up to brush his lips across Blaine's chin. 

"Thank you," he whispers, settling himself down and closing his eyes for a minute. He isn't even sure how he manages to nod off except Blaine's arm is wrapped firmly around his waist and they're both leaning back against the couch. It's so comfortable.

Kurt's woken up by Blaine tensing, his hold on his waist almost too hard and when Blaine feels Kurt stir, he immediately loosens it, obviously having not realized what he was doing. That's when Kurt hears Sebastian. "If we lose, we know it's because of Anderson's solo, of course. He can't seem to hold a note to save his life. I don't know who decided to make him a lead soloist."

Across the room, the council members are all obviously trying to calm down Sebastian. Kurt wants to scoff, so angry and he just wants Sebastian to shut up. Blaine is always so good about never rising to the bait but this time he stands up, eyebrows raised. "Okay, Smythe. Let's talk about this. What is it? Are you pissed because I'm dating your soulmate or something? Because my solo was just fine, thank you. As was yours."

Kurt blushes as most of the Warblers turn to look at him at Blaine's words and, while Kurt knows that Blaine wasn't thinking about it, he is a little resentful that Blaine threw him under the bus like that. Or so it felt like. "No, Anderson, I am not pissed because you are dating my soulmate. I don't _care_ if you are dating Kurt. I care-"

"Then you're pissed because he's dating me and I wouldn't let you into my pants." There's a smattering of gasps and Sebastian's eyes immediately flicker over to glance at Kurt. Kurt isn't sure how to react, what to say or think or feel, gripping the arm of the couch hard. He never knew that. He never knew that Sebastian went after Blaine and he's not sure why that feels so painful. He's not even sure which one of them he's more jealous over. 

Sebastian turns back to Blaine with fire in his eyes. "No, that's not it, Anderson, either. You were not that important to me. Just because I liked your ass doesn't mean that I would say your singing is horrible, which it is, just because you wouldn't let me fuck you."

There's louder voices now, obviously trying to break up the fight before it escalates. Some people are defending Blaine, others just trying to get Sebastian to calm down. Nobody is defending Sebastian, though, and Kurt knows why. He's being _completely_ unreasonable and Kurt feels absolutely no sympathy for him. "Look, I don't care what-"

"Shut up, both of you, _now_." 

There's a moment of both of them glaring at the other before they both do what Wes had told them to. Wes lets out a slow breath, shaking his head. "You two are being children. We're going to go out there and figure out who won since our cue for that was at least 60 seconds ago and then you two are going to settle this on your own time. Without being completely idiotic towards each other. You're both Warblers. Sebastian, he's your soulmate but he's also Blaine's boyfriend. Blaine, he's your boyfriend but he's Sebastian's soulmate. Both of you have to get along."

"Believe me, I know that he's Sebastian's soulmate," Blaine says, as close to snapping as Kurt has ever seen him and Kurt closes his eyes. He doesn't want to deal with any of it. Sebastian doesn't even look at him as they all file out of the room to head back towards the stage but Blaine comes forward, resting a hand on Kurt's back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you up. That wasn't fair. I mean, Sebastian disliked me a long time before me and you started dating. I guess I should've realized what a bad idea that this was."

Kurt looks over at him, stung, pulling away. "What?"

Blaine looks confused for a moment before shaking his head, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. In that moment it doesn't matter where they have to be. Blaine pulls him close and he feels safe and warm in his hold. "No... I don't think that it was a bad idea. I am so glad that we're together. I guess I just shouldn't have pursued you. But I'm glad that I did."

"Okay," Kurt whispers, believing and trusting Blaine with his whole heart. In fact, he's given Blaine his heart. He's already trusted him with it. He loves Sebastian so completely it's like he can't breathe sometimes but he's pretty sure that he loves Blaine at least a little bit too. He's sweet and perfect and if the circumstances were different then...

The two hold hands as they go out to the stage. They're the last to arrive and so they stand near the back. Kurt is confused to see Sebastian standing next to them. He should've been closer to the front considering how fast he left the room when they were told but Kurt doesn't care, just scoots in closer to Blaine. Kurt holds his breath, squeezing Blaine's hand gently as places are called. This is so important and he's so excited about the thought of winning... of going on... of going to Nationals. 

"And first place, from Westerville, Ohio is the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

There's a shriek that Kurt is pretty sure comes from Wes and he turns to throw himself at Blaine, burying his face in Blaine's neck. He's so happy, thrilled that they're going to Nationals that he can hardly stand it. "You did it!" he says into Blaine's skin happily. "Knew you'd win us Regionals."

From behind him there's a scoff and Kurt tenses, pulling out of Blaine's arms because for just a second he forgot. He forgot that he has a soulmate, one who is standing right next to him and is glaring at Kurt and Blaine with a passion that surprises Kurt. He forgot that he wasn't completely wanted. Rolling his eyes, Sebastian turns and he's got a grin that Kurt recognizes as fake when he looks at David. Damn it.

*

Kurt gasps, head falling back as Blaine sucks where Blaine has to be able to feel his pulse fluttering wildly. Blaine's always careful, knowing that Kurt doesn't technically belong to him, and so he never leaves any marks. Sometimes Kurt wishes that Blaine weren't so careful, wishes that he'd put a few hickeys for Sebastian to see. Kurt wants Sebastian to know that just because Kurt isn't good enough for Sebastian doesn't mean he's not good enough for somebody else.

"Mm, god, I really..." Blaine trails off, having nothing to really say and Kurt feels his toes curling. He can knock Blaine speechless and if that's not something that's incredibly flattering then he doesn't know what is.

From what seems to be a great distance away, Kurt can hear his phone vibrating again and Blaine pulls back slightly. "No, ignore it. Doesn't matter. Please," Kurt breathes, words turning into a moan as Blaine scrapes his teeth across Kurt's collar bone. Kurt's hips jump, his fingers tangling in hair that isn't so wildly contained with gel after hours and hours. Kurt knows he's one of the only one who gets the pleasure of seeing Blaine so disheveled like this and it's flattering and lovely and so much. More, more, more.

Kurt tugs at Blaine's hair, pulling his head back up so that he can kiss him again and Blaine obliges. The kiss is sticky, messy and wet. Kurt can taste Blaine, taste the soda that they'd been drinking while working on homework only a few moments ago and he tastes so sweet that Kurt never wants to stop. When Kurt's phone keeps vibrating, though, he pulls back and sighs. "It could be an emergency..."

"It better be," Kurt snaps, sighing as he gets up. He's half-hard in his pants and honestly, he's about ready to throw his promise to Sebastian to not sleep with anybody else out the window. After all, it seems that Sebastian doesn't want him and he hadn't cared in the first place. And they haven't even had sex… not really.

Kurt's eyes widen as he sees that he has a dozen texts, three missed calls and two voicemails. He glances through the texts and lets out a shaky breath. 

**Hey. I'm here and I got us tickets. See you when you get here. -S**

**You better hurry. We're going to miss out on getting good seats. -S**

**Are you stuck in traffic? I told you we should've just driven together. -S**

**Where are you? -S**

**Kurt, the movie starts in five minutes. I'm not getting your candy that you like if we miss the beginning. -S**

**Where the fuck are you? -S**

**You better have a damn good excuse. -S**

**Jesus, Kurt, we've had this planned for a week! You're the one who wanted to see this movie so bad. -S**

**Are you with Blaine? -S**

**You're the reason I don't do relationships. -S**

**If you're with Blaine then we're finished. -S**

**I don't need you. Soulmate or not. I never wanted you. -S**

The texts cut through him like a knife and honestly, he doesn't want to check the voicemails. He doesn't think that he could stand to hear Sebastian say those words out loud. He swallows hard, forcing himself not to cry in front of Blaine.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks because he always knows when Kurt's upset. Sometimes Kurt likes that he knows, likes that he always comforts him but right now he wishes that he could just hide away somewhere and cry.

Shoving his phone into his pocket, Kurt shakes his head. "It's… I… forgot that me and Sebastian had a date," he admits softly.

Blaine seems to realize how bad that this is and he looks at Kurt sympathetically. The sympathetic look just seems to make it worse. Kurt feels bad that he stood Sebastian up but he feels worse about what Sebastian said. He knew that Sebastian didn't want him but to read it just hurts. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just going to bed. I'm going to talk to him in the morning. I'm really sorry."

Kurt doesn't wait for a response, heading out of Blaine's room and he's not sure that he's going to be able to keep from sobbing. When he gets to his room, he gets ready for bed, crawling in and burying his face in his pillow. His dormmate doesn't bother him and he cries himself to sleep.

*

Considering how surprised that Sebastian was by how well that Kurt was able to avoid him, he's remarkably adept at avoiding Kurt himself. Kurt spends two days without seeing Sebastian before Sebastian actually comes to Warblers rehearsal. "We can talk after practice," Sebastian promises, holding up a hand when Kurt makes a beeline for Sebastian. "Meet at my dorm."

Rehearsal goes incredibly too slow and Kurt goes straight to Sebastian's dorm, waiting outside. Sebastian is only a few minutes later and he unlocks his door, letting Kurt inside. "So, let's talk," Sebastian said, gesturing for Kurt to move to sit on the bed as he started pacing.

"Okay. I'm sorry that I stood you up. I was with Blaine and I-" Kurt starts.

Sebastian turns to Kurt and he looks angry suddenly in a way that makes Kurt frown. Sebastian's that angry with him? All he did was skip a date! "Yes, you were with Blaine. Fucking him or whatever you were doing. I don't care."

"Look, I already got that you don't want me, okay? I got that. You said it pretty clear and then you avoided me." Kurt swallows hard a few times, taking a few deep breaths as he stands up, crossing his arms protectively over his chest. "So I don't see why it's a big deal that I go out with Blaine."

For a moment, Sebastian just stares at him and he's sure that he's going to get yelled at but then Sebastian seems to deflate. He looks almost pained and Kurt doesn't understand what the expression is about. He doesn't like the back and forth thing that Sebastian is doing. First he thinks this is going to be some huge fight and now Sebastian is looking at him like that.

"Look," Sebastian says and he sounds so serious that Kurt sits back down. He slides his fingers together in his lap to look at him. He's even more surprised when Sebastian moves to sit down next to him, reaching out to take Kurt's hands. "I don't want an open relationship anymore. I don't want you with Blaine. I want you to be just with me."

Kurt's felt like he'd been waiting for those words for a long time but now that he hears Sebastian say them they frustrate him. It's not what he's wanted. It's not Sebastian saying that he only wants him. It's Sebastian saying that he doesn't want Kurt with other people and what's even wrong with him? As Kurt thinks through the words again, he feels more and more rage before he wrenches his arms away from Sebastian, crossing them again. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I thought this would be what you wanted."

"Yeah, I did too! Until you actually said it. Because, you asshole, you say that you don't want me to be with anybody else or me to be with Blaine. You don't even talk about your feelings for me! You act like you don't even care about me. You say you don't want or you never wanted me and then just two days later you say you want to be exclusive with me?" Kurt could barely breathe, rage and sadness and everything else coursing through him and he shook his head. "How could you?"

Obviously Sebastian hadn't expected that because he blinks at Kurt, once, twice. Just when Kurt is about to open his mouth to say something else, Sebastian finally speaks. "I don't know what you're talking about, okay? I don't know what the big deal is. You've wanted this since the beginning. Be just with me. Exclusive. I won't be with anybody else either. Isn't that what you want?"

"I want you to want that!" Kurt snaps, so angry and frustrated and how is this fair at all? It's not. It is not fair. "What is your problem? Why now?"

"I don't want you to be with Blaine! I… want you to be with me. You're _my_ soulmate. You're supposed to be with me."

Comprehension dawns on Kurt's face and his eyes narrow, his fingernails digging into his palms as he clenches his fists. "You are a _hypocrite_ , Sebastian Smythe! You think that just because suddenly _you_ don't want me to be with somebody that you can say that you want to be exclusive? I _like_ Blaine, a lot. I think I could love him. So, no. I don't want to be exclusive with you. Go back to fucking everything that moves since I know just how much you've been enjoying it while we've been in an open relationship. For my soulmate, you are determined to make me _miserable_!"

"I am not trying to make you miserable!" Sebastian says and he's finally starting to have some kind of emotion in his voice. Kurt had wanted him to have some emotion but he's not sure that he wanted it like this. "I am trying to give you what you want. That's me. And a relationship with me. So, now we can have that. Together. Me and you." 

Kurt feels tears stinging at his eyes for some frustrating reason and he just wants to smack Sebastian and he does _not_ think violence is ever the answer. "You never wanted me. You made that so clear, Sebastian. Just leave me alone. I don't need you either. I have _Blaine_!"

It's one last parting shot and Kurt runs to the door, wrenching it open. He doesn't look back, doesn't realize how closed off Sebastian's face has become at those words. He doesn't realize how much Sebastian had been hurt by those words.

Kurt is in tears as he makes his way through the school. He hears his name being called, people that he considers friends trying to stop him but there's only one person that he wants right then. Blaine is surprised when Kurt comes into his room without even knocking and he jumps up, letting his English book drop onto the bed. "Kurt, what's wrong?" he asks, sounding concerned.

No words come out though and Kurt pushes himself into Blaine's arms. Blaine murmurs comforting things, pulling Kurt down to curl in his lap on the bed. Kurt presses his face into the hollow of Blaine's throat, knowing that's where the name of his soulmate is and suddenly he wants to know. "What does it say?"

Blaine takes so long to answer that, for a moment, Kurt wonders if he wasn't loud enough for him to hear him. "Shayne Hawthorne."

Although Kurt doesn't know why, it cuts into him. It's not about the fact that he loves Blaine, not really, but it's as if suddenly it hits him, the entire deal with the soulmates. Of course, he's spent his childhood growing up thinking of ending up with Sebastian but it hits him now. "Would you…" Kurt hesitates and Blaine hums quietly to let him know that he's listening. "Would you be with me in the end? Honestly?"

"No." There's no hesitation in Blaine's voice and Kurt presses himself deeper into Blaine's body, arms tightening around Blaine's waist. He can feel an ache in his nose where he's pressing it into Blaine's skin but he doesn't move, can't move. Blaine continues quickly. "It's not that you're not great, Kurt, because you are. But you're not great for me. Whoever Shayne is, he's going to be my perfect match and Sebastian is yours. You wouldn't want to be with me in the end. I've seen you with him."

Kurt knows that Blaine is right but it doesn't make things much better. Slowly, he sits up, straddling Blaine's waist and he can feel Blaine's hand, gently caressing his thighs. It should probably feel intimate but it doesn't. It feels like the touch of a friend although in an intimate place. It doesn't make him feel like Sebastian does. "He… He's just... He doesn't want me to date you anymore. It's not fair. I get to watch him so much with other people and he's mad because I'm dating you."

"What did he say?"

Sighing softly, Kurt climbs off of Blaine, crossing his legs and watching as Blaine sits down in front of him, mimicking his position. "He said that he doesn't want an open relationship anymore. He wants to just be with me because he's a hypocritical asshole."

Blaine raises an eyebrow and Kurt can tell that that wasn't what he had expected to hear. "So, you're mad because Sebastian is finally offering commitment to you?"

"No!" Kurt snaps, realizing suddenly that that is actually what he sounds like. "It's more than that, Blaine. It's that suddenly because I want to be with somebody else he wants me. How is that fair?"

Hesitantly, Blaine holds out his arms again and Kurt hugs him, looking at him carefully. If he wanted to, he could learn forward, press his lips to Blaine's neck or pull back and kiss him like he had done so many times before but it suddenly doesn't feel right. Even in the beginning, Sebastian had been in the back of Kurt's mind but now it feels truly like he will be betraying him. That thought just makes him want to pull his hair out because that feels even more unfair. "It's not fair but… Kurt…" Blaine hesitates, thinking his words through carefully. Kurt can practically see his mind working. "How is love fair? Perhaps it just took you with me for him to realize that Sebastian wants you."

"That doesn't make it okay."

Blaine shakes his head, smiling softly as he cups Kurt's cheek. "I knew that we wouldn't last, okay? Don't feel guilty on my account. No, it doesn't make it okay but he's what you want. I know he is and you love him. So what's stopping you?"

Sighing softly, Kurt rests his cheek against Blaine's shoulder, curling up next to him. "God, I really hate when you're right."

*

Kurt holds off on talking to Sebastian until the next day and Sebastian doesn't seem to care which simultaneously relieves Kurt and hurts him. He has a lot of conflicting emotions all the time when it comes to Sebastian he's learned and it's frustrating. When he's finally ready to talk, it's after Warblers practice and they both stay behind, Sebastian looking more awkward than Kurt's ever seen him. Blaine gives Kurt a little thumbs up as he leaves and then they're all alone.

"So you went to Blaine? And he comforted you with-"

"If you imply something sexual then I'm going to finally give in to the almost overwhelming urge to hit you," Kurt interrupts him, going over to sit down on the couch and looking pointedly up at Sebastian until Sebastian joins him. "Grow up, Sebastian. Let's actually talk."

Sebastian looks like he's going to argue but he so often surprises Kurt and this is one of those times. He nods. "You're right. And I have some things to say to you, Kurt. I did a lot of thinking when I knew that you went to Blaine and you're right. I wasn't fair to you and I shouldn't have said things like that. Kurt, I want to be exclusive for two reasons. Because I don't want you to be with anybody else and because I'm ready to only be with you. You're… I never knew what soulmates were like. I never knew that you'd make me feel like this. I want it with you."

"You… what?"

Sighing, Sebastian turns to face Kurt, reaching out to take one of Kurt's hand. It almost looks like the words are painful to Sebastian but Kurt ignores that because he can't believe that he's really hearing this. He can't believe this is really happening because this, these words, it's what he's wanted for so long. "Kurt, I want to be exclusive with you. I'm ready. I'm sorry that it took me so long. It's why I've been acting so… crazy lately. I'm jealous. And I want to stop."

"But everything you said…"

"It's still true. I don't want to be out of control. I don't want to be with you just because your name is on my neck. I want to be with you because you're amazing. I want to be with you because you're smart and funny and your singing voice is amazing and you put up with my shit even when I probably don't deserve it. It's not just because you're my soulmate."

Kurt feels tears fill his eyes and he can't force any words out. He throws himself at Sebastian instead, his forehead pressing to his name on Sebastian's neck, the gesture so intimate and Sebastian tilts his head to kiss the top of his head.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Kurt Hummel. Every part of you."

The tears fall then, sliding down Sebastian's skin and Kurt leans up to kiss him hard, not caring about the tears or that they're in the choir room or all the problems that they've had between them. All that matters is that Sebastian just told him that he loves him and Kurt is pretty sure he's never going to lose this happy feeling. "I love you, Sebastian. For you, not just because you're my soulmate. I loved you before in this weird way but now I know you and I _love_ you."

Kurt wonders about how simple that it is to confess their love and he knows that they're going to have to discuss it more. Kurt's going to have to make sure that Sebastian knows that things like sexting are still cheating and he wants to hear what exactly changed Sebastian's mind but right now he doesn't care. Right now, he kisses Sebastian, kisses his _soulmate_ and things couldn't get better.

*

It's a natural progression of their relationship, the way that they're constantly together, constantly touching. Anybody who didn't already know that they were soulmates certainly know now. They're constantly reprimanded for making out in the hallways, for the public displays in the choir room. Even Kurt can't care about it though because they're together. They're in love and they're happy.

It had been easy before, every moment, getting kissed, getting touched but now it feels even more right. Kurt wraps his arms tight around Sebastian two weeks after Sebastian first told him that he loves him. They haven't had time alone in the dorms, not like they have now. Sebastian's roommate went home for the weekend and Kurt evaded bed check with the help of his own roommate to stay the night in Sebastian's room.

"Fuck, god, Kurt," Sebastian whispers and Kurt can feel every exhale and inhale of Sebastian's body. They're both slick with sweat, bodies completely pressed together as Sebastian thrusts into him slowly. Kurt's legs are bent up, wrapped around Sebastian's waist as Sebastian rests on his knees in between his legs.

Kurt can't even bring himself to let out a word, can't do anything more than moan and whine. Sebastian inside of him is a stretch that burns and stings but Kurt can't get enough of it. They don't normally do penetration. They have fun with other things, with their mouths and hands and grinding together. This is reserved for times when they want to be as close as possible and have some spare time.

"Please," Kurt manages to force out, moaning almost immediately after, fingernails digging into Sebastian's skin. He loves the leisurely pace that they're setting but he's ready to come now. He wants Sebastian to come inside of him, likes to feel it, sticky and sliding down his thighs. Of course, he's not quite ready to say that out loud yet but at least he admits it in his mind.

There's no need to say anything out loud, though. Sebastian knows him, knows everything. He knows what Kurt needs, knows when he's upset and angry and happy. Just like Kurt knows for him. Because they're soulmates. And that bond can't be replaced.

Kurt's cock is rubbing against Sebastian's stomach as Sebastian leans in further, forcing Kurt's hips up and he leans in to kiss him hard. Sebastian nibbles his lower lip, reaches a hand down and nearly as soon as he grasps Kurt, as soon as he squeezes and does that twist of his wrist that he knows Kurt loves, Kurt feels himself coming. He clenches around Sebastian and lets his head fall back as Sebastian fucks into him again, bites his neck and he knows that means that Sebastian is coming.

"Every time is better than the last. Is that possible?" Kurt asks softly and he feels like he's said something like that before. He might've said it every single time that they've done something like this. He's not sure. He's out of it, pliable as Sebastian rolls over and pulls Kurt closer, neither of them caring about the come and stickiness on Kurt's chest. They'll just shower together later.

Sebastian laughs, kisses Kurt's forehead. "Imagine the sex that we're going to have when we're 50 then."

Thinking about that, of being together that long, of still wanting each other then makes Kurt flush with happiness and he cuddles closer.

*

Blaine is surprised when Sebastian approaches him in the library, obviously preparing himself for a fight. His grip on his pencil tightens as Sebastian sits down across from him but Sebastian just laughs. "Relax. I'm not here to fight. If one of us was going to start a fight wouldn't it be you? After all, I'm the one who's with him."

"Indeed. So did you come to gloat? I knew from the start that he'd be with you eventually. You're soulmates and it's obvious how much that you love each other. I helped push him towards you."

Sebastian shakes his head, looking down at Blaine's homework for a moment before he looks back up at Blaine's eyes. "I want to try to be friends. You're obviously important to Kurt and, while it's not easy for me, I'm trying to be better for him. I think that it'll be good for him if I try to become friends with you."

Surprised, Blaine lets his pencil drop onto the table, leaning back in his chair and obviously trying to see if Sebastian is serious or not. Sebastian keeps his face composed, wanting Blaine to see how serious that he is. Serious in a way that makes his heart ache because he would do _anything_ for Kurt. "You're not just setting me up for something are you?" A sudden thought strikes Blaine and he narrows his eyes. "You're not trying to fuck me are you because I will-"

"No!" Sebastian says quickly, loudly and he glances around, surprised that the librarian doesn't try to tell him off. He thinks about glaring at Blaine but he figures that it's a fair question. After all, Blaine doesn't know how Sebastian's life has changed. He doesn't understand how, suddenly, Sebastian has all this love inside him, threatening to burst and all he wants to do every single second of every day is make Kurt smile. "I've changed. No more cheating. I promised him. I'm being serious. I want to try to be friends with you."

Blaine looks suspicious but he sighs, fiddling with his pencil after he picks it back up. "Kurt was telling me all about what's going on between you guys. It does seem like you're trying and I'm glad for that. Kurt's amazing and he really does deserve the world."

Sebastian nods, agreeing completely because all he can think about sometimes is how much Kurt deserves. He stays awake at night, fantasizing about the wedding of Kurt's dreams, of taking Kurt to Paris, kissing in the snow and the rain. Sebastian knows Kurt's wants, the romance, the sweetness. He'll give it all to him. "I made a lot of mistakes with him. With everybody and I know that you know most of them. But I'm going to try to fix them now. I love Kurt. He's... I always imagined that soulmates were just... the universe's way of fucking with us. My parents were soulmates but they were miserable together. I hated the thought that I had to be controlled by fate. I wanted the control. I wanted to... be able to choose. And I'm choosing Kurt. Because I guess the universe knows what it's doing sometimes."

As soon as Sebastian is finished, he flushes, obviously embarrassed by how caught up that he got in the story, how much that he told Blaine. Blaine keeps his face composed because, while some part of him would absolutely love to use that knowledge against Sebastian, he never would. Besides, Sebastian does seem to be making an effort and Kurt does love him so there has to be some good things about him. "Have you told Kurt that?"

"No. I'm going to. I should, shouldn't I? I should've told him from the very beginning so that he would know that..." Sebastian trails off, sighing and he stands up. "Thanks, Blaine. And you're actually a really good singer. I was just being a jerk."

Blaine watches Sebastian go, confused by the exchange, especially Sebastian's last sentence. His transformation was insane and Blaine supposes that they can probably credit that to Kurt. Soulmates change people. With that thought, he reaches up to caress his soulmate's name. He hopes that Shayne makes him feel like Kurt did... or even better. But that's fate, right? He has to.

When Sebastian reaches Kurt's dorm, he knocks, coming inside when Kurt calls for him to come in. The way that Kurt smiles, the way that his eyes brighten makes Sebastian's heart start pounding in overtime and he knows that he'll never not want to be with Kurt again. This is it in a way that he never thought possible. God, he loves the boy in front of him. That thought propels him forward, cupping the back of Kurt's neck and kissing him hard. Kurt makes a sound of surprise, pushing his book aside as he wraps his arm around Sebastian's neck.

"I have to talk to you," Sebastian murmurs, kissing Kurt a few more times. It's hard for him to pull away, hard for him to even think when Kurt's so close to him. He breathes softly against Kurt's lips, moving to sit down cross-legged next to him.

Kurt nods and he doesn't look worried which makes Sebastian glad. He doesn't want Kurt to worry about him. He doesn't want Kurt to worry that he might not want him or might break up with him or tell him that he cheated or wants to go back to an open relationship. Sebastian so badly just wants Kurt to be happy, to trust him even if, perhaps, he doesn't deserve it. "Okay, what is it?"

With Kurt's question, Sebastian talks and talks. He tells Kurt all about his childhood, about his parents and about how he hated the thought of losing control. He tells about being sent to boarding school and Paris and how his parents divorced. Kurt wraps his arms around him, pulls him closer and caresses his hair as Sebastian tries to ignore tears that streak down his cheeks at some of the words, embarrassed by the show of weakness. It was so hard to want to be with his soulmate when he saw what being with your soulmate could do, Sebastian tries to explain. When Sebastian finally finishes, Kurt tilts Sebastian's head up, kissing all over his face, tasting his tears and Sebastian closes his eyes. When Kurt touches him like that he's not ashamed of the tears.

"Thank you for telling me. I understand so much more now," Kurt says softly and he really does. He has a lot to think about. "I love you."

Sebastian smiles, leaning in to kiss him gently. "I love you too, Kurt. So much."

*

Kurt stands in between Sebastian and Blaine on the stage as they wait for their results from Nationals. He keeps sharing glances with Blaine, special smiles that would've once made him blush and want to kiss him but now just make him smile back. They'd met Shayne just the day before in a tiny coffee shop that he and Blaine had sneaked away to in the morning when everybody else had been sleeping in. His first time in New York and Kurt is so happy that he's sharing it with Sebastian and Blaine. The best part is that the New Directions are there as well. Of course, Kurt is firm on the fact that the Warblers are going to win but he was excited to see them. He'd missed them although his home is Dalton Academy now. His home is Sebastian.

Now that Blaine has found his soulmate, Kurt feels more secure in everything. Even though he'd known that he and Sebastian were soulmates and hadn't regretted his decision a bit, he'd always felt bad breaking things off with Blaine like that. Blaine reassured him often that it was okay, that he wanted Kurt to be happy and he could see how happy that they were together but Kurt had still felt bad. Shayne was lovely, though, and Kurt had gone back to the hotel, leaving Blaine chatting with Shayne for _hours_.

Rachel glances over, giving Kurt a small smile and Kurt smiles back, feeling Sebastian's arm tightening around his waist. He knows that Sebastian had a moment of worrying that he'd go back to McKinley but that'll never happen. Kurt can't stand to be away from Sebastian and he feels bad for Blaine, who's trying to figure out a long-distance relationship with Shayne until one of them can move. Even the two hours between Lima and Westerville seems too long. Taking a breath, Kurt tries to think back to their performance. They'd had a group song, with all of them singing together and the ones who did sing alone got a line each. Blaine's solo brought the roof down and raised the crowd onto their feet within seconds. Kurt loves Blaine's enthusiasm. And then, of course, Kurt and Sebastian's duet.

It had been an almost last-minute decision by the council, wanting to do something different. Sebastian and Blaine had both been behind a duet, campaigning for a duet between Sebastian and Kurt, not that much campaigning was needed. Their voices complimented each other so well that none of the Warblers could deny that it was a good idea.

All of the other teams have been called, leaving the New Directions and the Warblers standing in the front. One team will get first and the other will get second and Kurt leans into Sebastian harder. "And in first place... from Westerville, Ohio, the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

Kurt feels a moment of sadness for his friends at McKinley, his brother, but more he feels an intense joy. He throws himself into Sebastian's arms right as Sebastian tugs him in tight. "We won, we won!" Kurt screeches.

All around him, the boys are celebrating and hugging. Kurt can feel Blaine's arm brushing his and he glances back to see Blaine hugging one of the other Warblers. Kurt just turns to Sebastian, burying his face in Sebastian's neck. "It was your singing. They couldn't resist you," Sebastian says softly.

"Our singing. Together. I love you." Kurt smiles, tilting his head up. He doesn't care right then, not about anything and he leans in to kiss Sebastian hard. It's probably unprofessional but they've already been given first place and why can't he kiss his _soulmate_? His soulmate. It's still hard to imagine for Kurt that he finally has his soulmate who he loves and who loves him.

Sebastian kisses him for a moment before letting Kurt go and they both turn, knowing that they need to congratulate and accept congratulations from their teammates. Kurt hugs Blaine tight, breathing him in and he knows that Blaine is the best friend that he could ever ask for but that was all they were ever destined to be. "Your guys' duet sounded amazing."

"And your solo truly killed it," Kurt responds. He's glad that he's able to be with Sebastian romantically and keep Blaine as a friend. He feels like it couldn't get any better than this. He wishes that everybody could be as lucky as he is.

"I'm so glad that you're happy." Blaine hugs Kurt tighter before letting go and it's remarkable how easy that they slipped from being boyfriends to friends again. Kurt supposes that it helped that they never went further than that one handjob that had made Kurt so uncomfortable he didn't even let Blaine finish him off.

Smiling softly, Kurt kisses Blaine on the cheek, reaching back, almost sensing Sebastian's hand reaching out for him and their fingers connect and lock together. "I'm glad that you found Shayne."

Blaine nods and he smiles. "And I'm really glad that you found Sebastian," he says in an honest voice. They're going to stay best friends but Sebastian is more important to Kurt. That's just how it is and he turns to press into Sebastian's arms again.

*

Sebastian pushes Kurt hard against the wall, his hands on Kurt's wrist above his head and their lips connected in a rough kiss that has Kurt's lips stinging already from Sebastian's teeth. "You were so- And you're so- And fuck."

Kurt smirks because yeah, he'd been doing it on purpose. As soon as they'd gotten back to Ohio they'd had a party at Sebastian's house in celebration and he'd spent the majority of the time teasing Sebastian. Whether by shaking his ass in his direction or sucking frosting off his finger, he's been doing everything he can to get them in this position the entire night. Never mind that Sebastian would do it if he just asked. This is funner.

"Fuck. Please, Sebastian, I don't care just please," Kurt whimpers and he lifts up a leg, wrapping it around Sebastian's waist to try to grind up against him since he can't move his hands. Sebastian nods, grinding up against Kurt and he changes his grip, holding onto Kurt's wrist with one hand as he reaches down to undo both of their pants with the other.

It's fast, dirty and desperate. Neither one has lube in their pockets (Kurt doesn't even consider it - how trashy) and so Sebastian licks his hand, thumbing across the head of their cocks and smearing pre-come as he jacks them both off hard.

They know just how to touch to get each other off now and Kurt squirms, gasping as he tries to get out of Sebastian's hold but it's firm and he contents himself by kissing Sebastian instead, his eyes falling closed and his lips parting as they kiss. Sounds stream through of the party that's outside the door. He can hear somebody laughing, talking, the sound of the music pounding and Kurt is thankful for it because it masks his moans.

Sebastian's hold is almost tight enough to bruise on Kurt's wrist when he comes, his hips thrusting up into the air and the movement, the catch of the skin of their cocks pushes Kurt over the edge to orgasm, moaning Sebastian's name and hearing his name moaned in return.

"Fuck, that was loud. They might've heard that, babe," Sebastian says with a laugh and Kurt flushes, shoving Sebastian's shoulder but he can't bring himself to be embarrassed after that orgasm.

He's always useless after he comes and he's ever grateful that Sebastian grabs a tissue although it's not enough and Kurt strips off his shirt, taking one of Sebastian's.

They're going to be teased when they go out there. Kurt is pretty sure. Blaine at least will notice and Sebastian will probably make sure that everybody else knows that they had to change their shirts. It's a source of pride though so Kurt will blush but he won't stop Sebastian.

When he's got Sebastian's shirt on, he wrinkles his nose, the polo shirt not his style and he lifts up his chin so that Sebastian can smooth down his collar. Sebastian's fingers slide across the name on Kurt's neck and it makes Kurt shudder, his eyes closed and his mouth opening. "Oh."

"I love you," Sebastian says softly, pressing his lips to the corner of Kurt's.

Kurt's lips curl into a smile and he can't help but hug Sebastian hard. It hasn't been an easy road but Sebastian is everything that he's ever wanted. He can't regret this, though. He can't regret any part of anything that led them here. "I love you too." 

And that's enough for them forever.


End file.
